Funeral Home Puns

People would be dying to get in.

It watched the news and became convinced it had contracted the coronavirus from it's intended inhabitant, a Chinese woman from Wuhan who had died of the disease.

The casket went to the emergency room at the nearest hospital.

After overcoming her initial shock at diagnosing a casket, the ER doctor ran a blood test and determined the casket definitely did not have the coronavirus.

"But I feel like I'm dying doctor, and I only just came to life. If it isn't the coronavirus what is it?" worriedly asked the casket.

"I'm not sure," answered the doctor, "we'll have to run some more tests."

"But my fever, the pain in my lungs...what could it be? Doctor if you had to give me your best diagnosis right now without the tests, what do you think could be causing these terrible respiratory symptoms?"

The doctor thought for a moment then answered, "SARS cough I guess."

Police said it was a dead giveaway.

What do they call the best salesman at a funeral home?

The Top Urner

The place sure looked dead.

I've had some difficulty loading and unloading the coffins from the vehicles, so I decided to practice.

Now I spend all day rehearsing.

A brush with death

You take the last right.

I'm so proud.

It'll be called Remains To Be Seen.

He told me it was a dying industry.

Myra Maines

They blamed it on the cost of living.

But it turned out to be quite the undertaking.

Dad: You know, that funeral home is already pretty popular. People are just dying to get in there.

Real life dad joke y'all. You're welcome.

Because of all the coffins!

Everybody's dying to get in there.

My dad actually produced this one yesterday. Happy Sunday.

I'm just not a mourning person

My mom and her boyfriend recently bought an old funeral home and are renovating it to turn it into a house. While out to dinner with some extended family, my mom's boyfriend's 2nd cousin says, "so I heard you live in a funeral home.. that's interesting" to which his aunt replies, "yeah, we've all been DYING to come visit."

Classic.

>You know, we're lucky we're able to pull in here, people are just dying to get in here.

My dad says, "People are dying to get in there."

Then a moment later, "They're so busy they're buried."

Couldn't resist laughing.

http://imgur.com/pBRxr3r

People are dying to get in there.

"Look , people are dying to get in."

Apparently people are just dying to get in.