The last time the United States had to fight off a foreign invasion was against the British in The War of 1812.
Just think, if the British had won, we'd all be speaking English now.
After hanging up the random phone call my wife asked me who it was. “Oh just some foreigner.” She asked how could I so quickly assume they were a foreigner.
I told her when I picked up they said “I want to know what love is…and I want you to show me.”
What language do dress shoes speak?
Why did the Python programmer not respond to the foreign mails he got?
Because his interpreter was busy collecting garbage.
What did the airport bathroom attendant ask the foreigner?
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Did you hear about that that tribe of cannibals that only ate tourists?
They went extinct apparently... too many foreign bodies entering their systems.
What's the difference between a native yogurt and a foreign milk?
The first one's cultured.
God im sorry
I am not good at making dad jokes in a foreign language.
I guess I prefer the mother tongue.
Why was the sick foreign lawyer not allowed into the USA on a tourist visa?
Because he was an ill legal alien
I'm addicted to ordering hatchets from different countries and sniffing them incessantly...
I love foreign axe scents.
I don't mind foreign dishes, for example we ate some halal food last week
I think they called it Allah carte
A foreign man was driving around Montego Bay one day…
He passed a resident while going up a dead-end street, then a few minutes later came back down the street and asked the resident for directions. The resident replied, "Sure…
Jamaica mistake?"
A breakthrough: “I” before “E” except after “C”…
Mandatory temperature screening will be required for fans attending the Foreigner reunion concert.
If you’re hot blooded, they’ll check it and see.
As we drove past Ikea, my dad began one of his rants “Why do people want Swedish furniture? The fancy closet in my bedroom was built by a good ol’ fashioned local carpenter, none of this foreign import rubbish!” He was surprisingly vocal...
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
These comments where from a clip where someone cleaning at a foreign range almost gets hit by a stray bullet
I have a business selling foreign ants.
My grandad used to say "If it wasn't for me, you'd all be speaking German right now" Lovely man, terribly bad foreign language teacher.
No idea why the school hired him.
Did you know that artificial orange juice was first invented in Ancient China…
What’s the best band to chill out to?
Some foreign languages have gendered words.
English for foreigners... When do S and C sound the same?
I called my Great Aunt Myrtle a casual racist
And she replied that she was much better dressed than all those filthy foreigners
My friend started a business exporting artificial limbs to hospitals in foreign countries.
He’s an International Arms Dealer.
What did the officer say to comfort the foreigner he was arresting?
Don’t worry! These cuffs were designed for two-wrists.
I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...
Weird does not follow the rule of “I before e except after c”
I guess dad jokes are universal, just got dad joked by my foreign language penpal
I have a penpal from Spain I talk to a lot. Today we were chatting on Google Chat in English, and the topic of whether or not sea lions were dangerous came up.
Me: okay google says "sea lion saves man" has 976,000 results
Her: that man has sinked so many times
Edit: Bonus, she continued laughing at her own joke.
Her: hahahahaha
Her: i cant stop laughing
Her: it was so bad joke
Her: hahaha
My teenage son came home upset that his crush is attracted to the new foreign exchange student at school
So I went to the drug store and bought him the best Axe Scent money can buy!
My dad always tells my sister to not let a boy ever get foreign with her
With Russian hands and Roman fingers.
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
So my foreign friend and I went hunting
So the other day, me and a foreign dude I know went hunting in the woods (you know, since it’s such an classically American thing (I know)). Anyways, so while we’re there, we get attacked by a four armed bear. Luckily, we were able to kill it before it killed us. Then I realized how rare this was, so we decided to take a couple of arms each as a trophy. So I let him, the foreigner, have the left pair, while I, as an American, got the right two bear arms.
What rhymes with orange?
No it doesn't, silly!
(I don't know if this one has been done already, but I don't care.)
Why are handcuffs sometimes carried by foreign visitors?
Because they were designed for two wrists.
Shopping at foreign outdoor markets
How can you prove that the "I" before "E" except after "C" doesn't always apply ?
My girlfriend and I were talking about driving in foreign countries.
Her: "Urban Italy looks like a bad place to be with a rented car."
Me: "Yeah, I suppose there are some very old & busy cities there."
Her: "I don't know if I could do it. My Dad drove in Greece and that was bad enough."
Me: "Oof yeah, sounds sketchy. Though you'd think they'd have cleaned it up by now."
Her: ?
Me: "The grease."
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