I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"

"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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β€ͺAn evil French chef mixes Kryptonite in their treats and flings them at Superman. Batman arrives on the scene but does nothing, allowing Jimmy Olsen to catch the pastries in a net, at which point Superman saves the day. It’s like they say:

Not all heroes snare crepes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atruthtellingliar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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What do you get when you fling salt in a tavern?

A barnacle (a.k.a. bar-na-cl)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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What do you call a person who flings guitars into the atmosphere?

A Stratocaster

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bcnewell313
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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I'm having a fling with a certain type of punctuation.

It's accommodating me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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My girlfriend's roommate had a fling with a personal trainer

It was never going to workout.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/25thBaamMC
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2015
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I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.

It was just a fling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Puns about throwing things is getting out of hand.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raspoint
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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Got my wife with a few in a row while my daughter was at her dance class..

So, my wife was telling about how disappointed she was at our kindergartener's "Spring Fling" party this year. She described this one "activity" Where the kids throw a roll of toilet paper and try to ring a toilet.

I remarked "Wow.. that -is- pretty shitty!" And she scolded me for using foul language. "Yea.. sorry for the potty mouth... I'll water it down next time.."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
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FoxTrot had a great Dad joke over the summer. (link inside)

http://www.foxtrot.com/2014/08/10/summer-fling/

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sariel007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2014
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