Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
A pun for my final protect title
Hello! I have to make a presentation about how to avoid a shark attack for a final project in my english class. I suck at making titles, but can anyone come up with a clever one using puns?
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
After all this home schooling, my kid finally lost control
I finally found a genie in a bottle! So I asked if it would be possible to change French positives to Spanish...
He replied, "oui shall sí."
What is a pregnant women's favourite part of a hike?
The water break...
Said this during a hike so it was all the more sweeter to hear the only two dad's chuckle.
How did the big hairy gay man pass his final exams?
He was smarter than the average bear.
Guys! They finally made a story about clocks!
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
Our local Lego Store finally reopened after lockdown.
People were lined up for blocks.
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself....
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
After hours of trying, I finally got the lid off a can
I finally did it. I told my wife I had secretly married someone else.
I finally got back into practicing with my boomerang.
At first I couldn't get it, but it's coming back to me now.
Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess I’m a dad now!
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Finally told my son my gamer tag
Finally got around to watching Dr Who…
They're finally spilling the beans
I’ve finally decided to shave my private area.
I need to stop beating around the bush.
It’s a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldn’t whisk for a batter friend.
I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
Just saw that joke about eating a clock for the umpteenth time. Finally decided to try eating a clock myself, but now I'm freaking out.
I think I picked up a nervous tic.
Today I finally graduate after 8 years..
Went to visit my grandpa's final resting place and he left a message for me on his tombstone. I couldn't make out what it was.
It was a very cryptic message.
I finally found my sea joke book!
I thought I lobster, and never flounder.
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
Hmmmmmmmmm, I finally had Shawarma yesterday.
When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my mother’s in the other. I finally asked him why...
And he said, “Because your mother is always right.”
I recently bought my only Daughter a locket with her picture inside, for her 18th birthday.
.. just so glad She's now finally independent.
I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory
I’ll beheading there shortly
Edit: Thanks for the silver. My first ever award!
I have finally made it
I have two kids, a three year old daughter and a one year old son. Today as we were driving home, my daughter said for the first time “dad I’m hungry” and I felt the power course through my veins knowing I was about to reach the pinnacle of existence. I delivered the revered line and my wife just looked at me and I knew I had achieved everything in life.
Today I finally told my family about my hot dog addiction
It was really hard but I managed to mustard all the courage to do so
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.
I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.
Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...
You must be from Mars, eh?
Is the urethra similar to testes?
No, there is a vas deferens between them.
I finally kicked out my girlfriend about six months ago, and it's been nothing but Happy Days for me since.
The bitch took all the other box sets.
My New Years resolution is to finally get in shape.
Round... possibly pear... I haven’t decided yet.
All my vegetables got stolen and the cops finally showed up.
So scientists finally discovered a fossilised dinosaur butt. For it to survive intact all that time...
It must have been a megasaurus.
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs?
I designed a pencil with erasers at both ends.
Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
I finally watched Dirty Dancing for the first time.
I had the time of my life.
I finally got a job at the guillotine factory.
I'll beheaded there soon.
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