Finally my winter fat has gone...

Now, I have spring rolls.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Finally...πŸ˜‚
πŸ‘︎ 505
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kimcyrus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Ah finally. Da Queen
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DefNotInTheOven
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
After all this home schooling, my kid finally lost control
πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrettyPeeved
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...

"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"

πŸ‘︎ 132
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.

After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess I’m a dad now!
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elanstake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?

He ran out of gas.

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Finally told my son my gamer tag

WombRaider

I’m an OBGYN

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/c7b3rian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
They're finally spilling the beans
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/liamo000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
He could finally use it
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SteveHood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.

Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Just saw that joke about eating a clock for the umpteenth time. Finally decided to try eating a clock myself, but now I'm freaking out.

I think I picked up a nervous tic.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I finally graduate after 8 years..

Piece of cake :D

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chickensoupp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
It’s a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldn’t whisk for a batter friend.
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 236
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally found my sea joke book!

I thought I lobster, and never flounder.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JayNsilentBoom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my mother’s in the other. I finally asked him why...

And he said, β€œBecause your mother is always right.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
finally got the logic
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Leaper29th
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...

You must be from Mars, eh?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/granquist04
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
In what case do bullets finally do their job?

When they’re fired. finger guns

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hashup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I finally told my family about my hot dog addiction

It was really hard but I managed to mustard all the courage to do so

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rafacu_el_dino
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Hmmmmmmmmm, I finally had Shawarma yesterday.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally watched Dirty Dancing for the first time.

I had the time of my life.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.

I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally kicked out my girlfriend about six months ago, and it's been nothing but Happy Days for me since.

The bitch took all the other box sets.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
So scientists finally discovered a fossilised dinosaur butt. For it to survive intact all that time...

It must have been a megasaurus.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLifeOfRyanB
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My New Years resolution is to finally get in shape.

Round... possibly pear... I haven’t decided yet.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaymanRich
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs?

Just 5 minutes more.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I finally got a job at the guillotine factory.

I'll beheaded there soon.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
All my vegetables got stolen and the cops finally showed up.

"Lettuce handle this"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_eat_crayon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory

I’ll beheading there shortly

Edit: Thanks for the silver. My first ever award!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jk72788
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I have finally made it

I have two kids, a three year old daughter and a one year old son. Today as we were driving home, my daughter said for the first time β€œdad I’m hungry” and I felt the power course through my veins knowing I was about to reach the pinnacle of existence. I delivered the revered line and my wife just looked at me and I knew I had achieved everything in life.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sageyban
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad went out for cigarettes 8 years ago & finally came back.

He said he was in the desert with his camels.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Constant-Mud-7995
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
We are so happy to finally be rid of 2020

But next year will be 2022

(Inspired by the latest joke I read here by u/callingYouForMoney )

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Totorowl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard that the jalapeΓ±o finally finished school.

He is now known as Dr. Pepper

πŸ‘︎ 201
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fanoran
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The USA has finally been upgraded to be fully digital.

The new America is called USB.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.

Her: What can I do for you?

Me: I'm looking for a date.

Her: Oh, what kind of dates?

Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gliscor_dude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...

Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/winkelschleifer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I finally cleaned out my junk drawer and gave away all my dead batteries

free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scopehound
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote a ballad about tortillas.

It's actually a wrap.

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife and I are finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of visiting The Golden Gate in person.

She said, β€œWhat would you do when you finally see it?”

I said, β€œI’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”

πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm finally replacing my old wireless router...

It's on its last lag...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The final potatoes
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SushiWithoutSushi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Finally my winter fat has gone...

Now, I have spring rolls.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guitasketball
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Finally!

Hindsight is 2020!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kennymacasu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs...

"Just 5 minutes more "

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.