Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
After all this home schooling, my kid finally lost control
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess I’m a dad now!
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
Finally told my son my gamer tag
They're finally spilling the beans
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Just saw that joke about eating a clock for the umpteenth time. Finally decided to try eating a clock myself, but now I'm freaking out.
I think I picked up a nervous tic.
Today I finally graduate after 8 years..
It’s a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldn’t whisk for a batter friend.
I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
I finally found my sea joke book!
I thought I lobster, and never flounder.
When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my mother’s in the other. I finally asked him why...
And he said, “Because your mother is always right.”
Jean-Pierre’s dream of meeting an Extra-Terrestrial finally came true. His first question for the alien was...
You must be from Mars, eh?
In what case do bullets finally do their job?
When they’re fired.
finger guns
Today I finally told my family about my hot dog addiction
It was really hard but I managed to mustard all the courage to do so
Hmmmmmmmmm, I finally had Shawarma yesterday.
I finally watched Dirty Dancing for the first time.
I had the time of my life.
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.
I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.
I finally kicked out my girlfriend about six months ago, and it's been nothing but Happy Days for me since.
The bitch took all the other box sets.
So scientists finally discovered a fossilised dinosaur butt. For it to survive intact all that time...
It must have been a megasaurus.
My New Years resolution is to finally get in shape.
Round... possibly pear... I haven’t decided yet.
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs?
I finally got a job at the guillotine factory.
I'll beheaded there soon.
All my vegetables got stolen and the cops finally showed up.
I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory
I’ll beheading there shortly
Edit: Thanks for the silver. My first ever award!
I have finally made it
I have two kids, a three year old daughter and a one year old son. Today as we were driving home, my daughter said for the first time “dad I’m hungry” and I felt the power course through my veins knowing I was about to reach the pinnacle of existence. I delivered the revered line and my wife just looked at me and I knew I had achieved everything in life.
My dad went out for cigarettes 8 years ago & finally came back.
He said he was in the desert with his camels.
We are so happy to finally be rid of 2020
But next year will be 2022
(Inspired by the latest joke I read here by u/callingYouForMoney )
I heard that the jalapeño finally finished school.
He is now known as Dr. Pepper
The USA has finally been upgraded to be fully digital.
The new America is called USB.
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.
Her: What can I do for you?
Me: I'm looking for a date.
Her: Oh, what kind of dates?
Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)
The rocket scientists finally figured out what when wrong with their missile launch ...
Turns out it was a case of projectile dysfunction.
I finally cleaned out my junk drawer and gave away all my dead batteries
I wrote a ballad about tortillas.
My wife and I are finally fulfilling my lifelong dream of visiting The Golden Gate in person.
She said, “What would you do when you finally see it?”
I said, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”
I'm finally replacing my old wireless router...
Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs...
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