Delighted to say I've finally got a new job installing mirrors!
Nothing fancy, but was something I could always see myself doing.
It FINALLY happened.
Almost 40 and growing my beard out for the first time. Wife finally says "You know I'm starting to like it." And I could finally say "Yeah. It's growing on me."
I went to dinner with a couple of Vikings and they kept tapping on the table and laughing. I finally asked what was so funny and they said:
“You wouldn’t get it, it’s Norse code”
Finally my winter fat has gone...
Now, I have spring rolls.
Once I became a parent, I finally understood the . . .
scene where Yoda gets so tired of answering Luke's questions that he just dies.
Finally, a place to share this!
I’ve finally come up with a chronology joke.
I finally got to watch this documentary on herbs and spices
A pun for my final protect title
Hello! I have to make a presentation about how to avoid a shark attack for a final project in my english class. I suck at making titles, but can anyone come up with a clever one using puns?
After all this home schooling, my kid finally lost control
With Lil Nas X's Satan Shoes, the devil can finally steal our soles.
My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
I have finale cracked the most difficult problem. I now know all the digits of pi.
They finally found out what makes dog sick
I finally got the Covid vaccine yesterday and as I was driving I noticed my vision was blurry. I called the vaccination center and asked if I should go to the doctor or hospital. They said no.
But they encouraged me to immediately return to the vaccination center to pick up my glasses.
I thought that I finally met my sowl mate...
But she said I was too boar-ing.
I finally saw the new Justice League movie but when the heroes ended up in a funky little shack down the Atlanta highway, I was confused at first.
It was the Fred Schneider cut. Oops!
Finally, a place to share this!
The final question in our pub quiz last night was ‘name the indigenous people who are often referred to as Eskimo’. I’m so disappointed I got it wrong especially as....
Finally learnt how to separate my washing into lights and darks...
Turns out there can be a bit of a grey area
A friend of mine planned to use balloons to propose to his internet girlfriend, but then they finally met face to face.
He immediately popped the question.
I finally found a genie in a bottle! So I asked if it would be possible to change French positives to Spanish...
He replied, "oui shall sí."
A plumber and his coworkers finally fixed his own sink after years of not having access to tap water. He started crying, and his coworkers asked why.
He said with a trembling voice, "Because water works!"
It's 1905, and Albert Einstein has finally published his new space theory.
After telling my kids 3 times I finally said: “why isn’t the dishwasher running!?”
Because it doesn’t have any feet!
What is a pregnant women's favourite part of a hike?
The water break...
Said this during a hike so it was all the more sweeter to hear the only two dad's chuckle.
I was walking past the river today and this guy asked me if his rod looked good. Then, he asked if I liked his net. When he continued on and asked if I was impressed by the amount of fish he had caught, I finally lost it and shouted...
"Hey buddy, quit fishing for compliments!"
Guys! They finally made a story about clocks!
How did the big hairy gay man pass his final exams?
He was smarter than the average bear.
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
Our local Lego Store finally reopened after lockdown.
People were lined up for blocks.
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself....
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
Well, after all this time, they finally came in! I guess I’m a dad now!
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
After hours of trying, I finally got the lid off a can
I finally did it. I told my wife I had secretly married someone else.
I finally finished my training film for army commanding officers after more than 18 attempts.
I finally got back into practicing with my boomerang.
At first I couldn't get it, but it's coming back to me now.
It’s a sad day but my kitchenaid mixer motor has finally died. I couldn’t whisk for a batter friend.
Pandas don't get confused.
They're finally spilling the beans
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