I told my English teacher I planned on writing my onomatopoeia assignment on the word fap
He told me I was to discuss ting
Dad (points at my foot): your sock has a hole in it!
Me (checking my sock): no it doesn’t!
Dad: well, how did you get your foot in?
My boyfriend got me good.
Scene: Bf was getting ready for a skate session and discovered a tiny pocket in the back on the waistband of his shorts intended for keys.
Me: Don't put your keys there, you might fall and get stabbed in the kidneys.
Bf: It's cool, I still have two adult knees.
Me: Oh my god.
My boyfriend was talking about his beard this morning....
He said, "see, it's growing on you!"
I just stared at him.
"No, silly, it's growing on YOU!"
What do you call a computer belonging to a compulsive masturbator?
A fap-top
pretend this is a pun
My dad caught me fapping for my first time.
He critiqued my method , but I said that I was just a newcomer.
