Intoxication Puns

A list of puns related to "Intoxication"

You hear about the cop who got busted for driving while intoxicated?

He thought he was supposed to protect and swerve.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Entree_The_Giant
📅︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A toilet, a urinal and a very drunk sink are all at the front of a club, fighting and arguing with the bouncer to allow them and their extremely intoxicated friend inside.

Repeatedly shouting “Let that sink in!”

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/Ciceromilton
📅︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
If insects were psychoactive or intoxicating...

...I guess the new slogan would be:

"Friends don't let friends use bugs."

(Hey, I'm winging it here.)

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/Spotted_Lady
📅︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What makes an intoxicating golf game? imgur.com/gallery/r6bQB
👍︎ 21
💬︎
👤︎ u/Christophoro
📅︎ Jan 03 2017
🚨︎ report
How do you drive while intoxicated?

Whis-key.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/Wormri
📅︎ Sep 19 2016
🚨︎ report
My friend said that all bartenders are boring, which was a bit cynical in my eyes.

I think they're intoxicating people.

👍︎ 64
💬︎
👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Support groups

Procrastinator's Anonymous will be canceled because all the members have put off coming to at least next week. (Credit unknown)

Jane finally decided to join Narcotics Anonymous after getting needled into coming. (Original)

I bet you 50:1 odds that Joe won't be here at Gamblers Anonymous tonight. (Original)

As Laura spoke at AA, I found her account intoxicating. (Original)

Even if I were transgender, I doubt I'd ever go to a Crossdressers Anonymous meeting. I hear those meetings are literally a drag. (Original)

At a computer users' group, a guy was complaining that his Linux-loving girlfriend refused to do Windows. (Original)

I plum need to attend a Purple Anonymous meeting. (Original)

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Spotted_Lady
📅︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.