I tried to organize a professional Hide and Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure.

Good players are hard to find.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, β€œI feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

He said, β€œWow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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"Alexander, why am I such a failure with women?"

"My name is Siri. "

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
The competitive painting contest was an abject failure

as it ended in a draw.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Or an udder failure?
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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After the failure of the wii u

Nintendo decided to switch things up

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theswagdodo11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My family branded me as a failure, then I invented an invisibility cloak.

If only they could see me now...

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
When do you know a dad joke is a failure?

When it’s not punny

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legendary-jake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad is going through heart failure, and the first text that I get from him after sending him a card says:

β€œNo more corny jokes, now just corn-orary jokes”

I’m glad he still has his sense of humor through these tough times

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pranske3
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My "bathroom humor" comedy routine was a failure ...

I couldn't get a single laugh from the guys in the other urinal stalls.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
If a cow doesn’t produce milk, it’s both an udder failure, and a milk dud.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superflyguy87
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
For 2020 my new years resolution is to think about my worst failures

because hindsight is 2020

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tarqee223
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I was rying to milk my cow and it looks like it was an udder failure.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Acute kidney failure
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duke9000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried chicken farming once, but i was a complete failure.

Not sure if I buried them too deep, or too far apart.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't see why people think the Titanic was a failure...

I thought it went swimmingly.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReverseTuringTest
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Fun whiskey fact: when creating Buffalo Trace bourbon, the first couple of attempts were complete failures. They even went so far as to destroy all records of the early products

which is why you never hear about Buffalo Uno or Buffalo Dos

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2017
🚨︎ report
What does a pirate with heart failures need?

Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pungunner98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
The new iPhone won't be a failure...

...it will be a huge 6S

(x-post /r/apple)

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsDANdeeMAN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2015
🚨︎ report
The next iPhone won't be a failure

In fact, it will be a 6S

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zomgz0mbie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2015
🚨︎ report
The new MacBook is destined for failure because...

...it has NO FANS!! :-D

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Failure.

I was headed to my kitchen with some friends whem my dad was watching TV in the living room beside the kitchen, watching television. I was talking about 'your mom' jokes with my friends, and one of them said "but you always set yourself up!" I ask,

"For what?"

When I hear from the living room,

"For failure!"

When all of the sudden, my friends burst out laughing and my dad literally was crying from laughter.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kameronb
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2014
🚨︎ report
β€œI feel like such a failure, doc. All my 5 boys want to be valets when they grow up.”

Doctor: WOW! That’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.

πŸ‘︎ 739
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report

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