I think Norm would have liked this one.

Me: Norm Macdonald died of cancer

Wife: OH, that's sad, what kind of cancer?

Me: The fatal kind

Wife: eye roll

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👤︎ u/Miklay83
📅︎ Sep 15 2021
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when calling a patient today, I knew right away he was a dad...

me: Hi is this Mr. Dad?

Mr. Dad: yes, I am me

Me: This is me, calling from Dr. Cancer's office to discuss your biopsy results with you, do you have a minute to speak with me?

Mr. Dad: i have at least 7 minutes, i can certainly spare one to give to you! I'm glad Dr. Cancer is proactive in contacting me - the last doctor I went to, i had to tell him i broke my arm in two places.

me: Oh jeez, I'm sorry to hear that M-

Mr. Dad: yeah, and you know what the doctor said? Don't go back to those places!

...sound of me rolling eyes over phone while he chortles...

👍︎ 27
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📅︎ Sep 14 2014
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Wife set me up for a perfect combo last night.

In conversation with friends she said.

"My grandpa died of lung cancer and he didn't smoke a day in his life."

"Of course not, he smoked cigarettes."

Eye roll "no, he worked in the mines."

"That's why they don't sell cigarettes to miners."

Groan "you see what I have to put up with."

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📅︎ Jul 01 2015
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My brother was telling me about an article he read

It said cancer likes to thrive in an acidic environment. The article rated popular bottled water brands to show their pH balance. Evian had the lowest acidity so it was considered the best to drink.

I turned to him and said, "Let me get this straight. The article is essentially saying, 'It's all about that base.'"

Eyes were rolled and soft chuckles were had. Although we're brothers, we agreed that was definitely something dad would say.

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Jul 05 2016
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