Not to brag, but I experimented a lot with drugs and sex when I was in college.

Unfortunately I was part of the control group.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
It’s a rare occurrence when a pun gives you a religious experience. The Argyle Sweater for 4/2/2021
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDorkKnight53
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
In SchrΓΆdinger's thought experiment, if you open the box and the cat is dead,

then your curiosity killed the cat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iameshwar_raj
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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I was experimenting with the power grid of my house

The results were shocking

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each other’s jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?

Asking for a friend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
They've been experimenting with adding rodent DNA to pet medication.

After all, what cat wouldn't want to take his pills if they tasted really mice?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainCrazy110
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I was briefly considering one of those ice plunge experiences.

But I got cold feet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm fat, because I'm full of experiences...

.....and most of these experiences involved Mexican food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
When I first met my wife,she wanted our 1st sexual experience to be like a fairytale.

So, I invited 7 dwarves to join in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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My experiment of cross breeding a hen with a Slinky has failed...

Alas, I've no spring chicken!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
After a really bad experience with alcohol, I gave up drinking altogether.

Now I just drink alone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I just had a near sex experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know where I had my most awkward experience?

In Malaiseia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IFindYourPenis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Arabic country that has loads of sheep and experiences very wet weather?

Baaa rain πŸ‡§πŸ‡­

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.

I said, β€œYes, but I was part of the control group.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
So, how was your experience driving on snow in Spain?

sPainful

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucascp17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens when an apple experiences unrequited love?

It becomes a Pine-Apple

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill

I got mixed results.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting interviewed for a job as a blacksmith: Interviewer: Do you have any experience shoeing a horse?

Me: No, but I once told a donkey to F off.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CameronC7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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My wife says I snore at night so I conducted an experiment

I stayed up all night and I didn't snore once.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigdmonster88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Do any of you have experience making Moroccan Rolls?

I found a recipe in a magazine but I wasn't sure about it because the recipe calls for thyme and a bunch of other spices. I had them all, but unfortunately they were all expired. I decided to make them anyways, took them to a party, and they ended up all being eaten, everyone thought they were delicious. I guess what they say is true.

People love that old thyme Moroccan roll.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/revolut1onname
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote a book about how convicted felons can use fiction writing to work through their experiences and achieve better rehabilitation outcomes.

It's called, "Prose and Cons".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My cousin had a bad experience on the tram

Now he's tramatized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/morningshawa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Had my first camping experience last week

It was pretty intents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I had the craziest camping experience last night.

It was in tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoSasquatchy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I was walking with about 100 cows from one ranch to another and I had to pass through a vineyard so

I herded through the grapevine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thkoog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.

My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourLocalCreep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes my experience on an elevator is very uplifting. Other times ...

I just feel let down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/well_I_swan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I remember being born.

It was a real out-of-body experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brownsnake01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.

If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuttsMcGee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My science teacher said that I might experience 5g on a rollercoaster and I said

I can get 5g on my phone

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the laughing experiment for males only?

Because the scientists needed a test tickle to start.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcuraF1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time i used an elevator it was an uplifting experience

But the second time it let me down

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoman-177
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A scientist walks into a lab to pick up a dozen beakers for a new experiment he’s been working on, and the lab clerk hands him 13 upon his arrival. β€œ13?”, the scientist asks, β€œI wanted a dozen!”

The lab clerk says β€œI thought you wanted a beakers dozen!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErectAnarchy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I had an appointment with two physicians. They told me, β€œthe more pain you experience, the better you will feel.”

What a strange pair-a-docs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
First experience with flying.

The first time my daughter was on a plane, she looked out and saw the ground crew, and asked what they did. I proudly said that they are the "monbacks". When the plane pushes back from the gate they holler to the pilot "MON BACK....MON BACK".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoltharjoemama
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I hear in Africa they tried an experiment where they blessed the rains

It was a Toto failure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I went for a job interview today, he asked, "Can you tell me about your previous work experience in a nutshell?"

I said, "I've never had a job working in a nutshell."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My job application was rejected by a juice company...

I shouldn’t have mentioned my solid experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I once had to fly with no prior experience.

I had to wing it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/debateablyhuman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."

"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the scarecrow win an award?

because he was out-standing in his field

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/earthlightpd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I had a near sex experience.

I saw my wife flash before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.

Unfortunately I was part of the control group.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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