Not to brag, but I experimented a lot with drugs and sex when I was in college.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
It’s a rare occurrence when a pun gives you a religious experience. The Argyle Sweater for 4/2/2021
In Schrödinger's thought experiment, if you open the box and the cat is dead,
then your curiosity killed the cat.
I was experimenting with the power grid of my house
The results were shocking
How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each other’s jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
They've been experimenting with adding rodent DNA to pet medication.
After all, what cat wouldn't want to take his pills if they tasted really mice?
I was briefly considering one of those ice plunge experiences.
I'm fat, because I'm full of experiences...
.....and most of these experiences involved Mexican food.
When I first met my wife,she wanted our 1st sexual experience to be like a fairytale.
So, I invited 7 dwarves to join in.
My experiment of cross breeding a hen with a Slinky has failed...
Alas, I've no spring chicken!
After a really bad experience with alcohol, I gave up drinking altogether.
I just had a near sex experience.
My wife flashed before my eyes.
Do you know where I had my most awkward experience?
What do you call an Arabic country that has loads of sheep and experiences very wet weather?
My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.
I said, “Yes, but I was part of the control group.”
So, how was your experience driving on snow in Spain?
What happens when an apple experiences unrequited love?
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
Getting interviewed for a job as a blacksmith: Interviewer: Do you have any experience shoeing a horse?
Me: No, but I once told a donkey to F off.
My wife says I snore at night so I conducted an experiment
I stayed up all night and I didn't snore once.
Do any of you have experience making Moroccan Rolls?
I found a recipe in a magazine but I wasn't sure about it because the recipe calls for thyme and a bunch of other spices. I had them all, but unfortunately they were all expired. I decided to make them anyways, took them to a party, and they ended up all being eaten, everyone thought they were delicious.
I guess what they say is true.
People love that old thyme Moroccan roll.
I wrote a book about how convicted felons can use fiction writing to work through their experiences and achieve better rehabilitation outcomes.
It's called, "Prose and Cons".
My cousin had a bad experience on the tram
Had my first camping experience last week
I had the craziest camping experience last night.
I was walking with about 100 cows from one ranch to another and I had to pass through a vineyard so
I herded through the grapevine
I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.
My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.
Sometimes my experience on an elevator is very uplifting. Other times ...
I remember being born.
It was a real out-of-body experience.
Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.
If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.
My science teacher said that I might experience 5g on a rollercoaster and I said
Why was the laughing experiment for males only?
Because the scientists needed a test tickle to start.
The first time i used an elevator it was an uplifting experience
But the second time it let me down
A scientist walks into a lab to pick up a dozen beakers for a new experiment he’s been working on, and the lab clerk hands him 13 upon his arrival. “13?”, the scientist asks, “I wanted a dozen!”
The lab clerk says “I thought you wanted a beakers dozen!”
I had an appointment with two physicians. They told me, “the more pain you experience, the better you will feel.”
What a strange pair-a-docs.
First experience with flying.
The first time my daughter was on a plane, she looked out and saw the ground crew, and asked what they did. I proudly said that they are the "monbacks". When the plane pushes back from the gate they holler to the pilot "MON BACK....MON BACK".
I hear in Africa they tried an experiment where they blessed the rains
I went for a job interview today, he asked, "Can you tell me about your previous work experience in a nutshell?"
I said, "I've never had a job working in a nutshell."
My job application was rejected by a juice company...
I shouldn’t have mentioned my solid experience.
I once had to fly with no prior experience.
I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."
"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
because he was out-standing in his field
Yesterday, I had a near sex experience.
I saw my wife flash before my eyes.
My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school, and I said Yes.
Unfortunately I was part of the control group.
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