Feeling “exhausted” ? Have a seat !
I sat on the toilet, angry, exhausted, and late for work.
I said to myself, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
My next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes.
He’s a catholic converter.
People who run behind cars get exhausted.
But people who run in front of cars get tired.
What does a pirate say when he takes his car into the garage with a dodgy exhaust.
" Aaaaarrrr.....she blows."
Wife: I’m exhausted. I was up until 4 AM with the baby.
Me: It’s probably not a good idea to keep a baby up that late.
Why was the gay man exhausted after a long day at the office?
Because he worked 9 hours straight.
A man installed on his car new brakes, bearings, crankshaft, tires and exhaust.
He took a break, he couldn't bear it.. he was cranky, tired and exhausted.
The architect of Big Ben must have been exhausted
They were working around the clock
Right after being born, my newborn daughter wouldn't "latch" for her first feeding. So after 27-plus hours of labor and four hours of pushing, I looked at my poor, exhausted wife and said, "Looks like she's... resisting abreast."
My first official dad joke.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!
Guys, I had a really exhausting day yesterday, filling in forms and calculating the surplus of money I had to pay to the country.
Last night I dreamed I was a muffler
I'm exhausted. Just got back from the hospital
My girlfriend was really sick and the doctors said she urgently needed a blood transfusion. They asked me what her blood type was, but I had no idea. I frantically tracked my brain, trying to remember if she'd told me. She must have sensed my panic, because she looked up at me and with her final breath said, "Be positive. Be positive" She's right, though I will miss her.
A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening he’s absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend “Why I have to change my position every time?”
He replies “I know, this sub is full of reposts”
Why does my motorcycle keep falling asleep?
Being a parking enforcement officer has to be the most exhausting job out there.
It seems like there's always a lot to do.
I was telling Dad jokes the entire night
Every morning I take a bike ride through the park at least twice no matter how exhausted I am...
I always push myself to recycle.
What did the Chevy say to the Tesla?
I’m exhausted! When I get home from work I’m just gonna lie down and stare at the ceiling.
This evening’s definitely looking up
Today I asked my dad how he was feeling. He said ‘like a car’
My friend called an said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
Fixing tail pipes is exhausting work
My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.
I just got done writing my exhaustive dictionary of anatomy terms.
It's a significant body of work.
I gotta say, I’m 36 years old, exhausted and run down
Next year I’ll be in my prime though.
She must’ve been so exhausted when they got her out.
His arm must be exhausted
I'm exhausted after running around collecting the first 25 letters of the alphabet in a net...
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
If you run in front of a car you get tired, if you run behind a car you get exhausted
Chase after a car you get exhausted
Run in front of a car you get tyred
Running in front of a car will get you tired, but...
Running behind a car will get you exhausted
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night
I had a dream I was a muffler last night.
Last night I dreamed that I was a car muffler. I woke up exhausted!
last night i had a dream i was a muffler, and it scared me because i woke up... exhausted 😬
I dreamt I was a muffler last night.
Which explains why I woke up exhausted
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