Psychiatrist: "Hmmm, that is the strangest case of parking sons disease I have ever heard of.”
They Ransomware.
It must be her menstrual sigh call.
U-DON?
I always feel like there's something missing.
People are lined up for blocks.
One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.
She weighed herself and became concerned. After informing her of the joke, the wife got angry and tried to rip the scale apart, but it didn't work. She took the weights off, reweighed herself and was relieved after seeing a lower number. This series of events confirmed that the scale wasn't tareable after all.
A Nickel-less Cage
Question one.
At least that's what the sighentists say.
Ireland. Everyday it’s Dublin
https://i.imgur.com/cxGaHJJ.jpg
Well of course they do, then how would we get Number 2 pencils?
To get to the other sighed.
Because the “P” is silent
Giggle watts
Me: Today was an awful day at work
Wife: Are you serious? Tell me about it
Me: I’m not Sirius, I’m your husband. And Itt was a short, hirsute creature who looked short of like a haystack with sunglasses; he was Gomez’s cousin and spoke in high pitched gibberish all the time. Now if we could get back to my day...
One is a vegetable and the other is a little meteor
“Sighs doesn’t matter, guys!”
But it’s really a pain.
At a Bee & Bee
Him: "This is Un, this is Deux, this is Trois, this is Quatre, this is Six"
Me: "What happened to five?"
Him: "Cinq"
But at least I was putting food on the table.
You've seen the mall
I told her to save her Saab story for someone who cares
It's not stroganoff
We’re sitting at the table eating dinner and she asks,
“Can humans breathe under water?”
I say, “obviously not.”
She puts her cup of water on top of her head and starts inhaling and exhaling.
I said yes. She's very ill.
Nice belt!
I’m officiating a wedding Saturday and want to weave in some of your finest. Please share some of your best to help me deliver some laughs!
Edit: ... help me deliver some eye rolls and long nasal exhalations.
Me, exhaling loudly, “It’s a sigh defect.”
Come Bagdad!
A monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, the river flows with a breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. The monk exhales "Ooooomm". He repeats this until a noise, very faint, breaks his chant.
"moo."
The monk stops for a moment but, without changing his position, dismisses it. "Ooooooommm." He begins again.
He's interrupted again, "moooo."
The monk turns to find a cow looking up at him from the bottom of the hill. "Kind cow," the monk says, "please do not interrupt my meditation."
The cow stares blankly back at the monk. The monk sighs and continues.
"Oooooommmm-"
Even louder, "Mmmooooooooo."
"Dear cow, I must reach enlightenment. Please, refrain from making your cow noises or find another hill."
The monk continues again, "Oooooooommmm-"
"MMMmmoooooooooooO!" The cow exclaims.
The monk stands up angrily, "Cow! Why must you interrupt my chanting?"
The cow replies, "Because you're saying it backwards!"
My daughter comes home from school and plops down in the chair in front of me hands in her hair
Daughter: My Homework is SOO gay
Me: I'm glad to hear that it's LGTBY friendly
She gives me a blank stare with a few blinks for about 10 seconds
Daughter: What!? Dad.. NO! It's not that! I mean it's... Just... no!
Me: Oh! so it's happy then! I'm glad your homework had a great day at school!
My daughter exhales sharply
Daughter: Sure dad, it's Happiest homework ever!
It's probably her menstrual sigh call…
