I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...
I didn't expect it but he took a fence.
I proudly exclaimed to my family, "As a wizard, I enjoy turning objects into glass!"
"I just wanted to make that clear!"
My son (8) walked out of the bathroom this morning and exclaimed "whoof!...
... I haven't peed since last year!"
I couldn't be more proud
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
The produce person at my grocery store said I should try this vegetable, “It’s out of this world ... radical!” he exclaimed.
In truth, it was just rad-ish.
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
A man was chopping down a tree but was surprised when the tree suddenly exclaimed, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
then he responded, "And you will dialogue!"
As the evil nano-bots swarmed the superhero’s wrist-based time piece, he exclaimed...
A peasant's wife told him to go get milk for the baby. Dutifully, he went to the market with the baby and brought home a hefty jug of milk. "You've forgotten the baby!" she exclaimed.
"No I haven't... I got milk for the baby!"
"Walnut, Date and Banana Bread?", I exclaimed to the barista...
"Yes, it is really nice." She said cheerfully
"Oh no, I don't agree with Dates, too many bad experiences for me" I said with a smirk ear to ear.
"Oh, really? Why is that?" She asked.
Calmly I said, "They all end badly."
I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?"
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
Tomorrow is International Mud Day, and I had this marvellous exchange with my 4 year old today, Sunday: "Better prepare your gumboots, tomorrow is Mud Day!" I exclaimed. My child, without missing a beat, replied:
"No it's not, it's MUNday!"
The apprentice has now become the master.
I walked into the kitchen to help my wife prepare dinner and exclaimed, "That’s a nice ham you’ve got there honey! It’d really be a shame if someone..."
"...put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end!"
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, “NO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”
The lumberjack responded, “And you will dialogue.”
Napoleon was visiting a friend at his new estate. The friends great pride was his lavatory which was a big room with pottet plants, beautiful tapestries and carpets. When Napoleon saw this he was gobsmacked and exclaimed "What a loo!"
When it finally dawned on Watson that it was the limestone he exclaimed “But Holmes, how did you know?!”
/r/3amjokes/comments/fmr0…
My son just played "Don't Break The Ice" by himself with two hammers and exclaimed "I won!"
To which I replied "but on the other hand, you lost"
"We don't need a fishy super hero!" The land locked victims exclaimed.
After finishing making the first map of the world, the guy exclaimed...
True story: My SO and I got into an minor argument while laying in bed last night. I jokingly exclaimed “omg, I literally cannot stand you!”
To which he replied, “good thing you’re laying down”. Ugh.
Today while at work some coworkers were talking about the mushrooms they started cooking. I exclaimed “I like to think I’m a mushroom” they looked puzzled so I clarified “I like to think I’m a fun guy”
(real life) Left a door open for an elderly man.... he exclaimed:
What a Gentle.... Moment!
We were driving past the “Fireworks Superstore” when my wife exclaimed wow that place is huge.
I replied yeah you just can’t hold a candle to that place.
Girlfriend and I were arguing. She exclaimed "why can't I have a stable relationship!?”
I replied that "you should probably get a horse."
I told my friend I saw a man get thrown under a bus today. He exclaimed, “Oh my God! Was it moving?!”
I said, “Well, a few people were crying, but I was fine.”
I had to sneeze, so exclaimed "Ca-shew"!
15-year-old daughter tried to understand me when I exclaimed how much I like a well-seasoned skillet.
My son ran in the house and exclaimed that he'd seen a bee outside
Me: Did it sting you?
Son: No
Me: Well at least it bee hived itself
Son: Daaaaaaddd, that is not funny
The vacuum raised the knife up high, and as he was about to kill his first born boy he exclaimed
I borrowed materials from my friend years ago who is a chain link enthusiast. During a heated conversation, I exclaimed that wood is superior...
I didn't expect it but he took a fence.
I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?"
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
I called work this morning and whispered, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I have a wee cough." He exclaimed, "You have a wee cough!?"
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
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