Ex Girlfriend Puns

She hates when I call her that.

Yeah, you gotta stop doing that with your car..

She doesn't like me calling her that, however.

Though I'm being told that's not how I should announce my wife's pregnancy.

She's no longer my ghoul friend. (this actually happened, i just wanted to make the situation lighter)

Guess who came crawling back

I wonder what she is up to now.

The weird thing is she could care less when I text my O’s

We didn’t work out.

Looks like I've got some pretty big shoes to fill.

I mean, first I win the lottery and now this

There was so much history between us.

Turned out it was just catatonic.

I told that chick, peace

But I just wasn’t very Inuit

Then she vanished into Finn Air.

They'll kill your dog.

It was a 'once in Bloom moon' experience.

He was having a midlife Chrysler.

I’m hoping she gives me another shot.

When I told her she was my world, she decided to break up.

I didn’t know she had a history with Violins.

Exxon.

It wasn’t going anywhere.

I screamed, "Lego of me!"

So, today my girlfriend broke up with me. To keep it short, we were together for a few month and everything happened really fast. Bla bla bla, she said something about how she always felt comfortable around me but never could develop any strong love feelings for me.

She: "This week I was thinking a lot about us, our relationship and future and I took off my 'cheesy being-in-love-glasses' Me: Well, I know you're still wearing your contacts..." (she actually did)

So I got that going for me which was nice. But now I'm sad.

She was very irony.

I was at my ex-girlfriend's grandfather's funeral just kind of standing on the side of the room. her sister's husband walked over to me and introduced me to his father. I noticed that his tie had whales and dolphins on it and he said it was his favorite tie. I learned over to my ex and said "at least he wears that tie with a porpoise."

(needless to say, she didn't speak to me for a while)

She and I were sitting on the couch together and he was in the kitchen right behind us. My ex said something to the effect of "Ugh, I'm bored."

To which he responded, "How can you be bored!? You've got the love of your life right here...and your boyfriend too."

But that's a can of worms I don't want to open again.

I sometimes wonder what she is up to now.

There was too much history between us.

There was just too much history between us.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

She seemed nice to start, with no history of violins.

they'll kill your dog.

Then she just vanished into FinnAir.

I wonder what she is up to now.

We didn’t work out.

I was hoping she would give me another shot

I have some big shoes to fill..

My ex girlfriend is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me!

I want to say hello but there's just too much history between us.