I hope that the universe keeps on expanding forever so all the heat runs out some day. It means that eventually things are gonna be 0 K
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B_Baerbel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
So last night my boyfriend left the bedroom door open to get more heat in the room because there are more heating vents in the hallway than in the bedroom. I said, "You might say it's eVENTful." He didn't laugh. So then I said, "You'll laugh eVENTually."
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but I eventually gave up.

Good players are hard to find.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aromipesa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I once debated a flat earthed. He got me so mad I stormed off, saying I'd come back around eventually.

You could say I went over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dendari
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
my brother in law was addicted to the hokey pokey. it took him a while but eventually he...

turned himself around.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weendul
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A very young lemon strolled into an underground metro station, buying and enjoying a coffee, chatting with other fruits and eventually riding on a nice, modern train.

One could say it was a sub-lime experience.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePokemasterYT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.

Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levitron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
All of the world eventually got the virus

But China got it right off the bat

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Two antenna met on a roof and eventually got married

The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was incredible

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Connor0388
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeremywarne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
As the bears ripen, they become heavier and eventually fall off 😁
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/son_of_x
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
You say yes, I say no

body expects the Spanish Inquisition!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/user_error101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
One time my friends really wanted me to join them for a fishing excursion. I didn't want to at first but eventually joined them...

I am afraid that I succumbed to pier pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I once debated a flat earther. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.

He’ll come around eventually.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LinkIsThicc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
If you had a Tesla and it got stolen...

Would it now be an Edison?

πŸ‘︎ 548
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdbsplashum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I knew my dad's influence would eventually pay off.

He raised me

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forrestree
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A boy is shoving candy into his face when his mom yells at him to stop.

"Don't eat so much candy all at once!"

"Why?" the boy replied.

"If you eat too much candy, you're stomach will get bigger, and bigger, and it will eventually explode!"

The boy is shocked by this image an immediately stops eating candy. The next day, the boy and mom go to church together, and the boy sits down next to a very visibly pregnant woman. The boy looks at her stomach, then up to her face, and says, "I know what you've been doing."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winklesnad31
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
My dog happily chased a fly around the house, eventually nabbing it in one chomp.

I guess it's true: time's fun when you're having flies!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A long time bachelor met a girl in a bar with a glass eye.

As she sat down next to him her glass eye fell to the floor next to his stoll. He picked it up and handed it back to her.

They chatted all night and hit it off pretty well and eventually started dating.

One day while lying in bed, he turns to her and asks:

"Why me? Out of all the guys that were at the bar that night, why did you choose me?"

She looked at him surprised and said:

"Well, you caught my eye."

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealitiesOfWar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I didn't like Africa by Toto at first, or any of their other songs. But eventually I grew to really like them

I guess love isn't always on time

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwrk92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.

Eventually, I folded.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Eventually everyone will be quarantined to their homes without sports and in 9 months babies will be born.

They will be known as the Coronials

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Poor Bart eventually caught Coronavirus..

...He was displaying the usual Simpsons.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to make a coronavirus joke a while back.

No body laughed at that time, but eventually everyone got it.

πŸ‘︎ 288
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chihiro_yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A murderer who had poisoned his victims with iron supplements eventually and inadvertantly poisoned himself.

When he realized his mistake, he immediately called the police and confessed to all of the killings before laying down upon his death bed awaiting his own end, the same end that he had inflicted upon so many others. News media quickly came to the hospital and the killer was eventually asked two questions by two seperate reporters, one question following the other so quickly that he could not respond to the first before hearing the second. The first reporter asked, "How did the coffee taste that tipped you off into realizing you had poisoned yourself?" Where the second reporter blurted out, "How would you describe this situation where you have killed yourself by the very means you used to kill others?"

The murderous man only responded once before breathing his last breath:

"Irony," he replied.

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BholeFire
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy is walking along, and he continues to walk. Eventually he walks into a well. Why did the guy walk into a well?

He couldn’t see that well

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Eventually, we’re all doomed to end up in super modern offices where the walls are whiteboards

The writing is on the wall

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GabeRothel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
This gun club wouldn't let me in until I could ejaculate bullets.

I was skeptical at first, but eventually I came a round

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HughJamerican
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Once a Bank of America Bank cheque was lying next to a Wells Fargo Bank cheque, they started talking to each other and became friends....eventually, they became so close that they became

chequemates ;)

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RajdorUzu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I always said that I would never ever go walking the dark scary tunnels in the earth.

But eventually I caved.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheppo42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
If you ever get locked out of your house just talk to the lock.

Communication is key...

πŸ‘︎ 256
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaCrimsonChinn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.

I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalibabka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....

Turns out, she was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend stole my broken pen but eventually returned it.

That doesn't make it write.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EggplantOrphan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but eventually left...

...it was just one ting after another

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirlukethemodest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was struggling to find a sale on boating equipment. Eventually I did find one.

But it was an oar deal.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/friday-the-horse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The phone was ringing for a while and I eventually got up to get it.

"Are you going to answer that call anytime today?" yelled my wife.

"No," I replied. "Probably a simple 'hello' will suffice."

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
All countries eventually got Coronavirus...

But China got it right off the bat.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nazykitten
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
All countries eventually got the coronavirus but...

china got it right of the bat

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.

Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthfulcomrade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
All countries got coronavirus eventually, but...

China got it right off the bat!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The1Pootato
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Every country will eventually get coronavirus, but china got it right off the bat
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziMen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Every country will get COVID-19 eventually...

but China got it right off the bat.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but I eventually gave up.

Good players are hard to find.

πŸ‘︎ 753
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A flat earther was debating me and got so mad he said "I will walk off the edge of the earth to prove you wrong!!"

He'll come around eventually

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clouc1223
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report

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