Eres Puns

So I'm pretty excited for the new year!

kid: RERErRErerErRerererererEreRerrerereRrErrrErEre!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?
Dad: Calm down! My ears hertz!!!

Two guys were walking down the street towards one another, the second guy bumps into the first guy and the first guy goes "Ayee, watch it. I'm Walken 'ere" and the second guy goes "oh, sorry Christopher"

He’s now Dr. Awkward.

Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.

1. What does McDonalds say to the tray when it betrays them? "You traytor!"
2. Does Spider Man live in an egg? Because i heard he lives in New Yolk.
3. These puns aren't very eggciting.
4. lettuce taco bout it?
5. I will asalt you with puns!
6. What if your problem involves telling a phone? JUST TELEPHONE ALREADY!
7. What if Jake stands close to Johnny when talking? He Here's Johnny!
8. Stop asalting my hard with your judging pursesonality!
9. I'll play the Yandere Simulater later.
10. You herd about that show? It's called Spongebob Swearpants.
11. Why did you diss stew me? (kinda hard to get, but just say it out loud.)
12. What does someone say sarcastically in the middle of an intense war that was caused by someone? TANKS TO YOU!
13. What type of plane that loves bounce? Boeing!
14. How many money did we owe? It said it on the letter right? I don't know, you should've reddit!

I'm sorry for the cringe...

The bartender asks "want a pint?"

Van Gogh replies "No thanks, I've got one 'ere."

The year is 1541 and the French have just begun colonization in North America. Young Jean-Luc is in his newly crafted home when suddenly his friend Jean-Pierre bursts through his front door. 'Jean Luc!' he exclaims. 'You weel nevar believe! I 'ave 'eard word of a bacon tree!'. Jean-Luc looks confused and scoffs 'Imposseeble! You cannot grow BaycON on a tree!'. 'Come! And I weel show you ze bacon tree!'. So Jean-Luc & Jean-Pierre set off down the river, with Jean-pierre providing direction to the enigmatic 'bacon tree'. Finally, they pulled over onto a small beach that lead to a large forest. 'Stay 'ere and watch ze canoe, and I weel bring ze bacon back from ze bacon tree!' said John-Pierre. Hours go by and John-Pierre hasn't returned. As night falls, and Jean-Luc is about to enter the forest to look for his friend, he hears a rustling in the nearby brush, to which Jean-Pierre stumbles out, bloody and with arrows through his legs and arms. 'Jean-Pierre! What 'appened!!' exclaimed Jean-luc. 'Turns out it was not a bacOn tree.....it was an 'AMBUSH!!!'

HEYYY I'M WOKKIN ERE 🗽🍳

It's too cold to wash them out-tide.

If it was the Italian job, they'd bi-skittering half over the drink right now.

Pete and Repeat ere sitting on a wall. Pete fell off. Who was left?

So I recently got some part time work and I'm beginning today and my dad offered to give me a lift over. I had to pick up some black clothes aswell as part of my uniform.

We ere just getting ready to leave and my father was looking at me and said "You should of wore orange!", I hadn't a clue what the hell he was talking about, and before I could even reply he followed up "...because Orange is the New Black right?!" almost immediately!

He doesn't even watch the damn show..

He will come over, and look confusingly at the side of your head. "What's this 'ere?" (pause) "What's this EAR?"