What do you call a well educated Englishman napping?

An Oxford Coma

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/willehsballs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a teenager who never grows up?

Constantine

πŸ‘︎ 275
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mitiamedved
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Where do crows go to get educated?

CAWlege

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beastocity1089
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!

EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Chinese are building all sorts of new educational camps with invigorating physical exercise for Uigher citizens.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an ideology.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/urlordcov
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Do I think education is getting too expensive?

To a degree, yes.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mex5150
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The quality of education is so poor today that some people don't even know the difference between a checklist and a ticklist!

Checklist: a tool for ensuring coverage of a subject can be completed with a check mark of some form, for instance, a cross, a tick, etc.

Ticklist: someone who is tickling you.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jjoojjoojj
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
NASCAR bans the confederate flag?

Finally a turn in the right direction.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattzlo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Request: Education Apocalypse puns

For a teacher who keeps working in the end times. i'll put mine in the comments so people can tell me which are bad :p

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/No-tro
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. β€œWe had sex education today, dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…

β€œOh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2018
🚨︎ report
The members of Al-Qaeda aren't educated folks

But are experts in Crash Courses

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My under-educated son is working for a very low-paying job

That makes cents.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CTMaximus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an educated therapy dog?

A dogtor

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheExpandingBrain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My son is going to college in a town in Iowa...

He Ames to get a good education.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend told me, β€œYou have a B.A., Master’s, and a Ph.D., but you still act like a moron.”

It was a third degree burn.

πŸ‘︎ 484
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
They give an asstounding education
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4Dtwins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
If you commit 90 sins, you will get caught about half the time.

Because sin90 = cot45

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you notice that people started taking the looters & rioters seriously once New York was hit?

Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats an intelligent visitor with a typo?

An educated guess

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Freezer12557
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I believe it is absolutely nessesery to teach our childer calculus.

It's an integral part of education.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotaLegFinger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Educated people are hot

because they've got more degrees

πŸ‘︎ 135
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/K_rvex
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Educated people are hot

Because the have got more degrees !

( Read this one in an old book ! )

πŸ‘︎ 431
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimingot_yesjams
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Kim Jong Un say on his death bed?

My Korea is over

πŸ‘︎ 310
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fredvanvleetsr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
It was really educational..
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harry_Butz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a boat with an education?

A Scholarship ;]

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nbarlam
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Farmer for life.
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried explaining to my grandpa that I would be having school online.

He replied confused and worried, "How does that work? Your education is on the line!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iiSchii
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I had abstinence only sex education when I was in high school.

It was called Dungeons and Dragons.

πŸ‘︎ 102
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Due to cuts in the education budget, they've decided to simplify the alphabet, reducing it to just two vowels and one consonant...

...but don't worry, everything's going to be A-OK!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BluPrince
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My son's teacher said I'm educating my son well, and to continue to do what i was doing at home...

Guess I wont stop beating him then...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimatePeanut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an educator under the influence?

A high school teacher

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2016
🚨︎ report
I hope that one day Al Gore comes out with an educational rap album called, "Algorithms."

Al Gore Rhythms...

πŸ‘︎ 234
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/genevieveoliver
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
🚨︎ report
I majored in English. My education was lit.

English Lit.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an educated ox without an education?

An oxymoron.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FiveMinFreedom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Macadamia nuts are the most highly educated of the of all nuts
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Puns for Educated Minds
  1. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

  9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.

  13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

  15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  17. A backward poet writes inverse.

  18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

  19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

  20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

  21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

  22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

  23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

  24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

  25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

  26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 168
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshFocusPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
🚨︎ report
It's not easy educating kids in the capital of Connecticut.

I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad; I'm a Hartford teacher.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/f1rstman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What does an educated owl say?

Whom

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I was homeschooled my whole life, but still ended up being very educated.

I even graduated at the top of my class.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DecentPlastic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
They said Calculus would be integral to my education

but I found it a little derivative

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hippokuda
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Magnet schools are an attractive educational option.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
If a non-college teacher has sexual relations with a student, then they pursued a minor in education.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Morighant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I see what you did there, fb algorithm.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cdr_breetai
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a nut that's crazy all about education?

Macademia!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/exoxe
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2018
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. β€œWe had sex education today dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!” I put down my newspaper, looked at her and said…

β€œOh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”

πŸ‘︎ 211
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.