We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
I am easily lead.
The Dim Reaper?
Nature abhors a vacuum.
He says I'm lucky before he Alderaan out.
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
Guess they got the wrong organ donor.
Only ewes can prevent florist friars.
BRRIIIIIIIIEEEEEE
Youth In Asia
Never mind though, plenty more fish in the freezer.
Now I have salmonella.
(I’m sorry, it’s a fishy joke)
The whole process was riveting
Hard core park ore
It’s the little tings in life, ya know?
So I take steps to avoid them
Death Metal
The official cause of death was, "Exposure to the Elements".
They'd traded jokes, played pop music, and generally made people's lives a touch brighter as they trundled to work.
Now, though, there was silence on the air. Ernie silently reread the fax message from the Department of Defense. As licensed broadcasters they were legally obligated to alert the public, to tell them the nukes were flying and that in a few minutes all the world's troubles would be over. What, though, was the point of that? To torture people with the knowledge of something they couldn't change?
Their eyes met and a decision was reached. Bert put on their most requested song, a sugary top 40 tune while Ernie produced a bottle of bourbon from under the desk. As their producer banged on the locked studio door the colleagues toasted the end of a long career.
Bert, always the consummate professional, turned away from the window as the first explosion split the distant horizon. He straightened his tie, tucked in his shirt, and brushed his hair back. He would meet his fiery death with dignity.
He turned to Ernie and said in a quiet, resigned voice, "How do I look, Ernie?"
Ernie walked slowly over to his friend. He looked into Bert's face and saw the closeness they shared, the strength of their relationship, forged over the years. He took a deep breath and spoke quietly:
"With your eyes, Bert."
They're prosecuting him for crimes against a manatee.
It's been reported he could have done with another coat.
Especially mice.
She was a Morbid Angel.
"Ma'am you son dried "
"in vivo lost vagus"
One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
It was a bombshell
Because it was illeagle.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
I have to say it was absolutely riveting.
Gaviscon
I told them “Nein, out of tin.” Dentists agreed.
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
It becomes a zooming death.
Sorry if its done before just thought of it.
I’m smelting!!
His cause of death was listed as a sewer slide.
I asked it was type of music it liked.
It said it was a Big Metal Fan.
Man who has been going to the same bar for years tells his drinking buddies that he has decided to travel the world to view every farm tractor ever made. They all know his love for farm machinery and are quite relieved to be getting rid of him as he bores them half to death with his knowledge of tractors. 5 years later the man goes back to the bar after traveling the world seeing every tractor he could find. The barman looks at him and enquires as to why he looks so glum after achieving his life ambition, He explains that seeing every tractor has taken the shine off his hobby and he doesn't want or need to see anymore tractors. Just then there's a loud bang and the bar starts filling with smoke. Everyone is panicking except our man back from his travels who tells everyone to not panic and stand back, he then inhales all the smoke walks outside and blows all the smoke away. His buddies are amazed and ask how he managed to do this amazing feat, He explains. Simple I'm An Ex tractor fan.
