What do you say to an electrician that has no confidence?

You con-du-it

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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My son was born today (totally true story)

A couple of hours later, I text my wife

"I don't want to alarm you, but I'm the hospital"

edit: the original message

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Einstine1984
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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At the bar last night "you two should do a duet karaoke song"

Me: "She won't Du et"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chriskj2006
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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Dadjoke on eHarmony

Saw this today as I was going through their guided communication. My name is Michael.

http://i.imgur.com/nDuGVN1.png

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cybaritic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
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I thought Incredibles was Incredible.

I bet the second one will be incredible too.

Du dun tss.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DeaderThanDead
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 23 2017
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What do you call a scary dinosaur with a condom pulled over its head?

A Du-Rex!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bobsgonemobile
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
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What's the best way to cheer on an electrician?

You con-du-it!!!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LakesideHerbology
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 29 2015
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Dadjoked a customer last week [Retail]

So I work at a hardware store/fish & tackle shop on a fairly affluent barrier island in Florida...tons of rich old WASPs (we're talking DuPont heir money here).

Anyways, a regular comes up to the front register with a saw and some saw blades. I took note of his purchases and said to the guy "How do these work? Some sort of coping mechanism?"

He looked down for a second, began to explain (in a somewhat demeaning tone) how a coping saw works, looked up and saw my shit eating grin.

grooaaannnn "Oh you ass, that was witty. You got me though!"

I later learned that day that his wife had died three months earlier...whoops.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The_Cameraman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26 2014
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Watching Brave and... Does this count?

[Spoilers]

King Fergus (Merida's father) punches Mor'Du (a bear) in the face;

King Fergus: I'll fight you with my bare hands!

http://m.imdb.com/title/tt1217209/quotes?qt=qt1754778

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NejKidd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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