What did the drum stick say to the snare drum?

When you gonna let me beat

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📅︎ Jun 08 2019
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My girlfriend was telling me she caught a drum stick from her favorite drummer the other night.

I'm not sure why bands are throwing chicken at people nowadays, but I guess at least fans won't go hungry.

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👤︎ u/mblondey
📅︎ Mar 25 2018
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My 3 year old asked her mum if her 8 month old brother was allowed to eat his toy drum.

She said it was fine. I said won't there be repercussions?

Got an eye roll followed by a laugh.

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👤︎ u/jmabbz
📅︎ Dec 20 2015
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Why did the band want the turkey in it?

He has the drum sticks

👍︎ 10
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📅︎ Nov 28 2019
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Got dad joked at Guitar Center and it was beautiful!

So i made a pit stop at ol' GC to kill off a gift card from Xmas.

I needed one of those little plastic egg shakers (musicians will know) and some drum sticks. The two gentlemen were very rad & we stood around shootin' the shit for a bit.

Then the one who had my plastic shaker in his hand went to exhibit its shaker-y-ness only for it to fly out of his hands (on accident of course) and nail me in the chest.

The other gentleman responded with "That's not what he meant by drum throne!"

I swear I heard angels singing as they descended down a badly played Stairway to Heaven.

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📅︎ Mar 03 2015
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The meta dad joke

My college roommate's dad had a brilliant way of taking well-known jokes and butchering the punchlines. Could be fun when your kids are slightly older. A couple memorable examples:

  • A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender pours him a beer, and remarks that the wheel looks uncomfortable. The pirate replies, "Yar! It's steering me balls."
  • Two cannibals are having dinner. The first one says "my mother-in-law tastes awful." The other replies "then have some more potatoes."
  • How do you make a salad wrap? Just add drums!
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📅︎ May 18 2016
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