Drafted Puns

A list of puns related to "Drafted"

I was getting drafted to fight in WW3

But I didn't have to go because Iran

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👤︎ u/Carpenters98
📅︎ Jan 04 2020
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I heard the Kool Aid Man got drafted onto an MLB team...

He's quite the Pitcher.

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👤︎ u/jpg11
📅︎ May 01 2019
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My dad was talking to his dad at dinner today. My grandfather was drafted and fought in Vietnam for 11 months

Dad: Did you have any issues when you got back from war?

Granddad: Clearly. I met my wife

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👤︎ u/FoxofDesertion
📅︎ May 25 2015
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Misunderstanding on purpose

My favourite 'dad joke' is purposefully misunderstanding the kids and watching their disbelief as they try and reword things so even an idiot can understand. We have a family app so they need permission to download some apps onto their devices (because we are "controlling" 🙂).

So every now and then this will happen:

Child : Can I get an app?

Me : sure, if you're tired just go and lie down.

Child: no, an APP

Me: yes, lie DOWN

Child: No, I need an... I want a...I just want...an app.

Me: or an early night?

Child: weary sigh

Me: you do look tired

  • thinking I'm the best joker in history*

That was a short version. If it didn't make sense, read it aloud.

The kids will put me in a home at the first opportunity.

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👤︎ u/user_error101
📅︎ Apr 08 2021
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I'm starting to write a book about a tornado disaster

It's just a draft at the moment.

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👤︎ u/MyCatsAreDumb
📅︎ Mar 05 2021
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Why did the bank manager close the door?

To stop the bank draft

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👤︎ u/Big_Science2860
📅︎ May 09 2021
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I’m currently writing a book about wind, hurricanes and tornados..

It’s only a draft at the minute.

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👤︎ u/justbeatitTTD
📅︎ Mar 06 2021
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I just read an early draft of The Empire Strikes Back...

...Yoda originally spent part of his exile as a shepherd.

All the sheep, Dagobah.

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👤︎ u/Mikeycoyi
📅︎ Jul 29 2020
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I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes...

It's only a draft at the moment.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Mar 03 2021
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I’ve started writing a book about whirlwinds and tornadoes

but it’s only a small draft at the moment

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👤︎ u/FuntCaseKid
📅︎ Mar 24 2021
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I escaped the WW3 draft.

I guess you can say Iran from it.

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👤︎ u/Swagmaister69
📅︎ Jan 11 2020
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I asked my Dad “how do I avoid the draft?”

He said put a sweater on.

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👤︎ u/CrazyCowDubstep
📅︎ Jan 03 2020
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This tweet was sitting in his drafts for at least a week
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👤︎ u/Paolucci_Talks
📅︎ Aug 02 2019
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The Miami Dolphins have three first round picks in this year’s NFL Draft.

I guess you can say there are more than TUA picks for them.

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👤︎ u/SuperSonicForce
📅︎ Jan 24 2020
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I wanted to share my joke about the wind....

.....but it's only a draft.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Dec 23 2020
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Two extraordinarily large horses were sitting at the bar having a beer. Guy walks in and says to the bartender. "Hey, what's with the Clydesdales?" Bartender says,

"They're draft horses"

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👤︎ u/timthedriller
📅︎ Jan 11 2021
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My dad and I were participating in a fantasy football draft together. After my pick, it was his turn.

Me: "You're up"

Dad: "Asia!"

Me: "What about Asia?"

Dad: "Well you said Europe!"

Thanks to u/adamdidit for being my "father" in this situation

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👤︎ u/Mavfatha
📅︎ Oct 11 2019
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The British parliament finally approved the final draft of the Brexit letter to the European Union.

It’s not EU, it’s me.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 17 2019
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Why is it always so drafty in football stadiums?

Because of all the fans.

Hm. This might be funnier after social distancing measures are safely eased.

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👤︎ u/jfshay
📅︎ Sep 22 2020
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This is just a rough draft
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👤︎ u/mnemoniker
📅︎ May 06 2015
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Did you hear about the NFL draft?

They ran outta weather stripping.

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👤︎ u/Sbatio
📅︎ Apr 27 2018
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Why is the NFL draft held in Chicago?

Because it's the Windy City!

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👤︎ u/Merisiel
📅︎ Apr 29 2016
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The draft in here is so bad the hairs on the back of my neck are standing at attention.

Both "draft" as in compulsory enlistment and "draft" as in a gust of wind or cold air.

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👤︎ u/Gayburn_Wright
📅︎ Nov 23 2015
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The Cold War would have never been the Cold War if it weren't for the draft.
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👤︎ u/Kopextacy
📅︎ Jun 22 2016
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Did I ever tell you how I dodged the draft?

All I had to do was close the window

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👤︎ u/DookieMays
📅︎ Sep 23 2014
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Was watching Mulan with the family. During the draft scene, the emperor's assistant guy calls out a family name.

Assistant guy: "Tha Chu family" My dad: "Did he sneeze or something?"

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👤︎ u/JohnToiletPaper
📅︎ Jan 24 2016
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Bacon and eggs walk into a bar

They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.

The bartender looks at them and says “sorry boys, we don’t serve breakfast here.”

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👤︎ u/RandomWeatherPattern
📅︎ Sep 19 2019
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What kind of essays do dogs write?

Ruff Drafts

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👤︎ u/Cobra_9041
📅︎ Sep 22 2019
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How do dogs pre-write an essay?

By writing a RUFF draft

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👤︎ u/TheOnlyUserICanUse
📅︎ May 24 2019
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Why didn't the wind send its email?

It was just a draft

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👤︎ u/yahtzee44444
📅︎ Jun 12 2019
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They tried to draft me for ww3

.......Iran

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👤︎ u/sniddlermuddlet
📅︎ Jan 08 2020
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I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes...

It's only a draft at the moment.

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👤︎ u/klwill1192
📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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I'm writing a book on hurricanes and tornadoes

It's only a draft at the moment

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👤︎ u/Degtyrev
📅︎ Oct 12 2020
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