I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson…

He said, β€œBut dad, your name is Brian.”

I said, β€œI know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
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So I’m sitting at a bar...

And two obese women walk in, talking in an interesting accent.

I was intrigued so I turned around and asked them, β€œAre you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of the women sneered at me, β€œWales, you dolt!”

So I corrected myself, β€œOh, are you two whales from Ireland?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PedsRNforreal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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At the bar with some friends...

Friend 1: But I'm not an adult!

Friend 2: Yes, you are an a-dolt...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wraith775
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2016
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