Dismember Puns

A list of puns related to "Dismember"

Why did the Alabama man dismember the grizzly?

He has the right to bear arms.

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👤︎ u/ballsofstyle
📅︎ Feb 05 2021
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Officer: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar of antlers

Detective: Dear god

Officer: Yes most likely

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👤︎ u/Connor0388
📅︎ Sep 09 2020
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The "body" has literally been dismembered.
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👤︎ u/colelee100
📅︎ Jan 03 2019
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I'd rather be remembered than dismembered.
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👤︎ u/smallpoly
📅︎ Nov 01 2017
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Did you hear about the dismembered bear a guy found in his back yard?

It was a grizzly sight

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👤︎ u/Scrpn17w
📅︎ Jan 15 2015
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An international arms dealer.
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 14 2018
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What happens when you get kicked out of a serial killer fan club?

You get dismembered.

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👤︎ u/Asa_1191
📅︎ Feb 25 2020
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I lied on my application for membership to the American Amputee Association

When they found out, I was dismembered.

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👤︎ u/Happy_Each_Day
📅︎ Feb 20 2020
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One of my friends showed his dad aptitude over lunch today.

I had to run a couple of errands between then and now, so my memory might be a bit fuzzy, but I'll do best.

Friend 1: "Sarah"

Friend 2: "Shawn"

Future dad: "Sam"

Sarah: There is no good way to eat a taco. (There is a dismembered taco sitting on her plate.)

Shawn: I know, right? It's seriously the worst-designed food, like, ever.

Sarah: Back in [hometown], there's this restaurant that sells authentic Mexican tacos. There's no grease or anything, just chunks of chicken with guacamole and salsa and a bit of cheese on top, and it's SO GOOD. I really shouldn't even talk about them, it's just making me homesick.

Sam: You mean you shouldn't taco 'bout them?

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👤︎ u/teuast
📅︎ Dec 11 2013
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What happens when you get kicked out of a murder club?

You get dismembered!!

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👤︎ u/Asa_1191
📅︎ Jul 27 2019
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