What’s the most disgusting type of nut?

The cash-ew

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samscostco
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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what do you call disgusting vegetables?

grosseries!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/okkb00mer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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What is the most disgusting perfume ever made?

Eau de colon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeHL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
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People who sell meat and meat products may be disgusting to some people, but.....

People selling fruits and vegetables are definitely grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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My kids were disgusted. As I choked with laughter.

Sitting down having dinner with my wife and girls (1,3,4) and my three year old says β€œDo you know what my baby does?!” And she made her doll do a backflip on the table. And almost as if instinct, I said β€œwell do you know what my baby does?! MY BABY TAKES THE MORNING TRAIN...” and I hit them with the whole of Sheena Eastons song during dinner.

It was perfect.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OldManMarc88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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I'm sorry for taking your daughter's virginity!

It won't happen again

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πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
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Got drunk yesterday and puked in the elevator on my way back home.

It was disgusting on so many levels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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Putting a seed in your body may sound disgusting at first,

but it grows on you.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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I’ve always wanted to tap my neighbors’ maple tree, but he wouldn’t give me permission.

Think I could do it syruptitiously?

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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Today on the bus, I caught an absolutely disgusting low lying old pervert watching Porn..........

.......Over my shoulder!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Airline food is disgusting

It just isn’t on the same level as homemade and restaurant food

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muggz_s
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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What does a Norse god do when they don’t want to attract attention?

They stay low key (Loki).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyktic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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I listen to every type of music except heavy metal

Because heavy metals are toxic.

(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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A man went to the Dentist's

The Dentist said: "Wow your teeth are disgusting."

The man cried

Then..

The Dentist said: "Geez.. you don't have to be that sensiteeth."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hanemun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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What do you call a soda that is disgusting

Sodasgusting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oddeagle123456789
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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My friend, who happens to be a female sheep, made a clone of herself and had sex with her clone. My entire friend group was totally disgusted, but I encouraged it, and said...

Ewe do ewe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youtuatoot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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My 5 yr old girl told her first dad joke today: "Dad look what happened to my tooth!" Smiles and has a disgusting mouthfull of crunched up nachos.

"It's chipped!" Tears of pride and joy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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So, I was debating this guy about world peace, and he argued that whirled peas sound disgusting!

I think that's called an ad homonym attack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree.

The guy behind the counter said to my dad, "Are you going to put it up yourself?".

Dad replied, "Don't be disgusting, I'm going to put it in the living room."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Why are all of the other numbers disgusted with 288?

It's too gross.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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The European Union is disgusting. Don't believe me?

Say EU real fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/disconformity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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A doctor was teaching a class, and wanted to give a pop quiz about tolerance and observance when dealing with the cadavers. (L) (On Mobile)

Teacher: β€œSo I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”

The teacher has everyone turn their body over

Teacher: β€œNow I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”

all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first

Teacher: β€œOkay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”

The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked

As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, β€œnow see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.

With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonkagloop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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My rabbit soup was disgusting

It had a hare in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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I'll stick to my ribs

A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.

"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.

Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dazmo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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My wife threatened to leave me over my "filthy and disgusting habits".

I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2017
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I told my wife we were having liver and onions for dinner and she said that's disgusting!!

I said, no it's offal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/430am
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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What is the most disgusting time of day?

1:44, because it’sa gross

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πŸ‘€︎ u/syclopa
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
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If Its the 8th month will it be disgust? reddit.com/r/Punny/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyWifiIsCrap
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
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What do you call a disgusting home-made Halloween costume?

Gross Domestic Product

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πŸ‘€︎ u/playdoubleplay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
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I went to watch the cheerleading team perform but left in disgust

It was one big pyramid scheme.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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English is disgusting...

It has such a gross vocabulary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_solidwarp_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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A vegan told me, "People who sell meat are disgusting!"

I told them "people who sell fruits and vegetables grocer"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrhotdog82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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A vegan said to me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!”

I said, β€œPeople who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chooboto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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A vegan said to me people who sell meat are disgusting

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainOverKill16
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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A vegan said to me that a person who sells meat is disgusting...

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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A vegan once said to me, people who sell meat to eat are disgusting....

I replied, people who sell fruit and vegetables to eat are grocer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting.

But apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amanbbi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Vegan: People who sell meat are disgusting!

Dad: People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoMEOWner707
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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A vegan told me people who sell meat are disgusting

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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A vegan said to me: people who eat meat are disgusting

I replied: people who sell fruit and veg are grocer

(Borrowed indefinitely without permission from @pakalupapito)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RacismIsForBlacks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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A vegan once said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting

I said people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiavyas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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A vegan said to me, people who sell meat are disgusting

I replied, people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anasuna
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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What is the most disgusting food?

Teriyucky.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SauceMaster6464
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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Vegans think that people who sell meat are disgusting

But people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting!

But apparently people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/g0dfarter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
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