Disgust Puns

It was one big pyramid scheme.

I told them "people who sell fruits and vegetables grocer"

Because heavy metals are toxic.

(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)

but it grows on you.

.......Over my shoulder!!!

It just isn’t on the same level as homemade and restaurant food

Teacher: “So I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”

The teacher has everyone turn their body over

Teacher: “Now I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”

all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first

Teacher: “Okay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”

The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked

As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, “now see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.

With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz

A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.

"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.

Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"

The guy behind the counter said to my dad, "Are you going to put it up yourself?".

Dad replied, "Don't be disgusting, I'm going to put it in the living room."

Ewe do ewe.

"It's chipped!" Tears of pride and joy

I think that's called an ad homonym attack.

It's too gross.

A small mouth is swimming behind a large mouth and the large mouth inconsiderately poops in his face. The small mouth spat out and cried in disgust and ire, "bass turd!!"

It had a hare in it.

Later on she found out and said to us : "You disgust me".

And I said : "Yes, yes we did".

Say EU real fast.

I said, no it's offal.

Gross Domestic Product

I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.

1:44, because it’sa gross

They only get paid in tips.

Sure, I know they’re disgusting little bugs. But I started taking pity on the little guys after they only came in second in this poll of people’s favorite animals.

The winner, of course, was the goldfish.

It runs in your jeans.

A fart that sticks to the roof of your butt.

It has such a gross vocabulary.

Husband: emphatic no, five letters Wife: never H: pistol, three letters W: gun H: disgust, three letters W: ugh H: charity, four letters W: give H: female sheep, three letters W: ewe H: Pixar movie, two letters W: Up

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer

I said, “People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.”

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

#Found in fb!

I replied, people who sell fruit and vegetables to eat are grocer

Dad: People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

But apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

I replied: people who sell fruit and veg are grocer

(Borrowed indefinitely without permission from @pakalupapito)

I said people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer

I replied, people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

Teriyucky.

But people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

But apparently people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer