If Its the 8th month will it be disgust? reddit.com/r/Punny/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyWifiIsCrap
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to watch the cheerleading team perform but left in disgust

It was one big pyramid scheme.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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A vegan told me, "People who sell meat are disgusting!"

I told them "people who sell fruits and vegetables grocer"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrhotdog82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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I listen to every type of music except heavy metal

Because heavy metals are toxic.

(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Putting a seed in your body may sound disgusting at first,

but it grows on you.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Today on the bus, I caught an absolutely disgusting low lying old pervert watching Porn..........

.......Over my shoulder!!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A vegan said to me people who sell meat are disgusting

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainOverKill16
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Airline food is disgusting

It just isn’t on the same level as homemade and restaurant food

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muggz_s
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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A vegan said to me that a person who sells meat is disgusting...

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

πŸ‘︎ 226
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boom223
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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A doctor was teaching a class, and wanted to give a pop quiz about tolerance and observance when dealing with the cadavers. (L) (On Mobile)

Teacher: β€œSo I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”

The teacher has everyone turn their body over

Teacher: β€œNow I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”

all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first

Teacher: β€œOkay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”

The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked

As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, β€œnow see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.

With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonkagloop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
I'll stick to my ribs

A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.

"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.

Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dazmo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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A vegan said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting. I said to him people who sell vegetables are Grocer!

#Found in fb!

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stha118
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Last Christmas we bought a fake Christmas tree.

The guy behind the counter said to my dad, "Are you going to put it up yourself?".

Dad replied, "Don't be disgusting, I'm going to put it in the living room."

πŸ‘︎ 948
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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A vegan once said to me, people who sell meat to eat are disgusting....

I replied, people who sell fruit and vegetables to eat are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend, who happens to be a female sheep, made a clone of herself and had sex with her clone. My entire friend group was totally disgusted, but I encouraged it, and said...

Ewe do ewe.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Youtuatoot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting.

But apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amanbbi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My 5 yr old girl told her first dad joke today: "Dad look what happened to my tooth!" Smiles and has a disgusting mouthfull of crunched up nachos.

"It's chipped!" Tears of pride and joy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
So, I was debating this guy about world peace, and he argued that whirled peas sound disgusting!

I think that's called an ad homonym attack.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A vegan said to me: people who eat meat are disgusting

I replied: people who sell fruit and veg are grocer

(Borrowed indefinitely without permission from @pakalupapito)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RacismIsForBlacks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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Why are all of the other numbers disgusted with 288?

It's too gross.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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A fish tale

A small mouth is swimming behind a large mouth and the large mouth inconsiderately poops in his face. The small mouth spat out and cried in disgust and ire, "bass turd!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterThenatoni
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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My rabbit soup was disgusting

It had a hare in it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A coworker and I were talking about our boss behind her back during our lunch.

Later on she found out and said to us : "You disgust me".

And I said : "Yes, yes we did".

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oleflitzer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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The European Union is disgusting. Don't believe me?

Say EU real fast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/disconformity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my wife we were having liver and onions for dinner and she said that's disgusting!!

I said, no it's offal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/430am
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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What is the most disgusting food?

Teriyucky.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SauceMaster6464
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a disgusting home-made Halloween costume?

Gross Domestic Product

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πŸ‘€︎ u/playdoubleplay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife threatened to leave me over my "filthy and disgusting habits".

I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2017
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What is the most disgusting time of day?

1:44, because it’sa gross

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πŸ‘€︎ u/syclopa
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Vegans think that people who sell meat are disgusting

But people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?

They only get paid in tips.

πŸ‘︎ 335
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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I’ve always felt bad for the silverfish

Sure, I know they’re disgusting little bugs. But I started taking pity on the little guys after they only came in second in this poll of people’s favorite animals.

The winner, of course, was the goldfish.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jweiss10
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Diarrhea is hereditary

It runs in your jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaelCar07
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you eat a peanut butter & baked bean sandwich?

A fart that sticks to the roof of your butt.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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English is disgusting...

It has such a gross vocabulary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_solidwarp_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Husband doing crosswords with his wife

Husband: emphatic no, five letters Wife: never H: pistol, three letters W: gun H: disgust, three letters W: ugh H: charity, four letters W: give H: female sheep, three letters W: ewe H: Pixar movie, two letters W: Up

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Potato23860
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My son threw a soda at my head today: So I told him I’m lucky it was a soft drink!
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Atmouspheric
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A vegan said to me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!”

I said, β€œPeople who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.”

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chooboto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Vegan: People who sell meat are disgusting!

Dad: People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HoMEOWner707
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A vegan told me people who sell meat are disgusting

I said people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A vegan once said to me that people who sell meat are disgusting

I said people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiavyas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A vegan said to me, people who sell meat are disgusting

I replied, people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anasuna
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting!

But apparently people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g0dfarter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
🚨︎ report

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