"Or, well, Ian..."
...but I've had a change of heart.
Tea leaves
There's gonna be a Trumper Tantrum
I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year. So check your facts.
https://imgur.com/a/b4uxwBM
People who are reading this are on the same page.
My girlfriend disagrees.
It all seems 2020
Man goes to war
Usually it's something like "yes dear."
While inside, I took a deep breath and said, "Ahh, nice dairy air!"
The woman next to me strongly disagreed. She didn't have to smack me though ...
But who am I to disagree?
Nokia
There's no way there's 15,000 people on board.
“Well, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who are, and those who are not, my uncle.”
They have many scales but they are all over the place
We were going through the Halloween candy picking out what we want to keep and what we are going to donate. She found a little box of nerds and said she was going to keep them for my oldest daughter because she likes nerds. I replied proudly "I'd rather have her like nerds instead of jocks!." I laughed, she groaned.
A neigh sayer.
Feel free to disagree, that’s just my two scents.
Heidi Klum says before hitting the Bahamas; Tyra Banks says after.
She disagreed, she thinks Allison is too cheesy.
Nein! (for this to be effective, say this quite loudly in a German accent.)
My dad loves this one, he always laughs the loudest at his own joke.
Now I'm a bee leaver.
I don’t quite sea it that way.
He's now in stable condition, but is presumed Dad.
Who am I to diss a brie?
He said she's got fine motor skills.
But I think we should teach the khan-traversed sea.
Suddenly, the wife pointed out that it was snowing. The husband shook his head and exclaimed that it was just raining. After disagreeing for quite some time, they decided to ask their communist friend, Rudolph. He also exclaimed that it was raining. The husband then said to his wife,
“See, Rudolph the red knows rain, dear.”
The wall has never been anything but supportive.
It was a clear case of "He said, Xi said."
I disagree. I clearly have a father figure
...however my wife disagrees, and is no longer letting me use the washing machine.
My wife gave birth to our first son on Friday. This morning they came to get him for his circumscion and we were feeding him a bottle. The nurse said we were going to have to cut it short. I said ok, but not too short. And nobody laughed. They looked at me like an idiot. Hopefully the internet will appreciate this.
EDIT: Didn't expect this to garner so much attention, but I guess it deserves some elaboration. Yes, this actually happened and we had our son circumcised. Everything went well without any complications. I made this decision with my wife based on hygienic, traditional, and aesthetic reasons, and I am confident in my decision. I am circumcised, and I'm happy with it.
There are times in my son's life that i will need to make decisions for him, and this was one of those times. I understand that some people think I have committed a terrible crime against my son, but I disagree. There are many arguments for both sides, and I think these decisions should be made by family and doctors when the bridge comes to be crossed.
I'm not going to go through and answer all of the questions and insults individually, I have a newborn to take care off, but y'all feel free to hash it out.
Also, I still think my joke was pretty damn funny.
Dad: Your mother and I would like to disagree.
He misses you.
