What do you call a stupid dictator?

Idiot Amin.

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📅︎ Jan 06 2018
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I just got new high heels....

...and since I directly fell in love with them, I had to send a photo of me wearing them to some friends and somehow also my to dad.

I got responses like "You look hot" or "So sexy!".

My dad's response: "You must be so tall wearing them. I guess I know who's getting a helmet for christmas!"

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👤︎ u/drakooi
📅︎ Dec 13 2015
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I use this one almost daily

I work in a watch and accessory store, which sits directly across from a sephora, consequently we get a lot of husbands, dad's partner's etc. wandering through. They usually make a comment about waiting on some.

My response "Well Fossil is a great place to kill time"

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👤︎ u/inigomelo
📅︎ Sep 13 2014
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I think this may qualify, even though it was before I was a dad, and it wasn't really a joke.

'Interactive lecture' in a Systems Engineering class (not that that's relevant) when the Assistant Professor starts directing questions to the students to move forward in the lecture material.

Settles on me and asks me a pretty straightforward question that I started overthinking and got all deer-in-the-headlight-y.

Fancies himself some sort of comedian so he quips "C'mon, I'm throwing you a softball (question)."

To this I come up with an immediate response: "I don't play softball."

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📅︎ Mar 10 2015
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Directions

An elderly man asked me for directions today. I asked him if he had a G.P.S. so I could help him program it.

His response: No, I have an . M.A.P.

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📅︎ May 05 2014
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