An underage gold digger is a miner
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afieif
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I ain’t sayin she a gold digger

but she did migrate to California in 1849.

πŸ‘︎ 540
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cjborange
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a gold digger say to get someone’s attention?

β€œA u!”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/j-wabbitt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I just found out that my wife is a gold digger.

So now we're celebrating her new career as an industrial miner.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zapyre
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Grave diggers have one of the most serious jobs in the world. Every single time they do something wrong it’s a grave mistake.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirCheesePidgeon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the ditch digger feel about his job?

He found it irrigating.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krustygymsocks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the gold digger who married a rich art collector?

She was just in it for the Monet

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Feral1991
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Son, your mother is a gold digger and she just loved me because of my necklace...

It was a chain reaction

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unammusic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Now I ain't sayin she a gold digger....

But she did move to California in 1847!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pokeysrevenge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
🚨︎ report
The twelve days of Jokemas, day two

What do you call a monster truck during Christmas dinner?

Gravy Digger

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig.

It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Redwards2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A man with a gold claim in Alaska was cursed.

At first the curse just brought him bad luck, causing vital equipment to break and provoking frequent but small injuries to him and his crew. Soon, however, the curse darkened and diggers the man had hired to help work his claim began to die in bizarre ways.

One was killed by an African scorpion that should never have made it to Alaska, let alone have survived the cold. A second drank a gallon of the mercury used to separate the gold from the ore. A third was found with a tree growing up through his body.

The man himself who owned the claim became more and more pale. His eyes became all white. His skin began to give off an overpowering smell of sulfur. He slept all day and at night he wandered the mountain above his claim, coming back each day looking more like a beast than a man.

The curse became so bad the last worker alive ran away to the nearest town to tell the authorities what was happening at the claim.

In an attempt to save the claim owner's life and lift the curse, a priest was brought in by dogsled to perform an exorcism on the man.

A sherriff from the town came with the priest as a bodyguard.

The exorcism was long, but apparently successful. Immediately the man's color returned, the sulfur smell disappeared, and he was able to sleep through the night for the first time in six months.

After the man awoke, the sherriff immediately arrested the man and brought him back to town with the priest. Standing in front of the judge, the sherriff was asked what charge the law had against the claim owner whose life had just been so dramatically turned around.

The sherriff looked at the man, then looked back at the judge and said in a slow and rumbling voice, "Possession as a miner."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Y2KoNo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œHere’s your first PHD”

My father says as he hands me the post hole digger while we’re building a fence.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spacemanultra
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I had sex with a miner.

She was a gold digger.

She was super into metal.

We got stoned together.

I'm thinking about coaling her, but you're supposed to wait 3 days.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_By_Pun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
At first I thought it was great marrying an archeologist...

But then I found out she was a gold digger and my life is in ruins!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the mummy get a divorce?

His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Soccerdadjoke
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Topic: Perception

Sepp was a successful business man, who had married a known "gold digger" -- After Sepp's death, his eldest made claim to the estate, but his evil step mother told the lawyers "well that claim is just per Sepp's son"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarah_Connor
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I've never gotten Reddit Gold.

I'm okay with that though, I'm not a gold digger.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
🚨︎ report
One-upped by my son

I was being my usual dad witty self today when my wife and I were talking about how much food we had grilled this weekend for meals for the week. I told my wife that she was just using me for my grill.

Without skipping a beat, my son said, "she's a grill digger."

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hobogato
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2017
🚨︎ report
[Request] Mole-related puns

So to clarify, a mole is a unit of measurement in chemistry. My chemistry class does this extra credit project every year where you make a diorama of a mole (animal), with some sort of pun. Examples: Mole-sama Bin Laden, Mole Digger, Deadmol3. Help me find a good idea?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProbablySpiderman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
🚨︎ report
My school hosts a volleyball tournament every year. Here are some if my favorite team names
  • The Notorious D.I.G.
  • The Orval Redenblockers (I probably butchered that spelling)
  • The Volley Lamas
  • The Gold Diggers
  • The Serve-ivers
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAce1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2014
🚨︎ report
Getting Educated Sucks

Me: I'm thinking about going back for my PhD soon.

Dad: What do you need a Post-Hole Digger for?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scampbe999
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2013
🚨︎ report
I dig... You dig... He dig... She dig... We dig... They dig...

Now it's not a very beautiful poem... But it's quite deep

πŸ‘︎ 331
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/palpameme_66
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.