After my sister got furious at me talking in Thanos dialogues, I apologized and said

"I'm sorry little one"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lyadh_lord
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Healthy dialogue
πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/79to55
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you read about the new group that was created to foster dialogue between Wiccans and Jehovah’s Witnesses?

It’s called the Witch Tower Society.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the most common dialogue in movies?

[indistinct chattering]

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikekhan7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
This is actual dialogue in a video game. Dear lord
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SameerKhan7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
So I just got dad joked in /r/lounge about expats. Dialogue within.

Person 1: Neat! Are you visiting or living there?

Me: Living here, but as an expat.

Person 2: Why'd you change your name?

Me: What do you mean?

Person 2: Well it used to be Pat, and now you're an ex Pat.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gloriouspenguin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2015
🚨︎ report
A man is preparing to cut down a tree in the forest.

The tree says, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The man replies, "You're going to dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you ever hear about the lumberjack in the magic Forrest?

A lumberjack went to a magic Forrest to cut down some trees for wood. He comes up to the first tree he sees and starts to chop it down. Suddenly the tree cries out β€œWait! Don’t cut me down! I’m a magical talking tree!” The lumberjack replies β€œYou may be a magic tree but you will dialogue!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CactusMan313
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Pulled off a real-life-one, i guess...

Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.

so here goes...

(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)

daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?

me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?

daughter: elizabeth-gramma.

me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?

(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)

daughter: don't know, who?

me: my mum.

(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReaperWright88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack was out cutting down trees in the forest one day. He went to swing his axe and the tree screamed "WAIT! I'M A TALKING TREE!!!!"

The lumberjack looked up at the tree and paused saying "well, you may be a talking tree, but I'll see that you die a log!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How do we know that a tree makes a sound if it falls in the forest?

Because it will dialogue.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the lumberjack say to the talking tree as he swung his axe?

You will dialogue

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EthanSilver248
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said: β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 847
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack was at work one day and was just about to start chopping down a tree.

Suddenly the tree spoke β€˜WAIT! Don’t chop me down, I’m a talking tree!’

The lumberjack chuckled darkly and simply stated β€˜And now you will dialogue’

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/audrey_heart93
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack walking into a magic forest and chose a tree to chop down.

when he started swinging, the tree shouted, 'wait, wait! i'm a talking tree!' the lumberjack smiled and told him, 'and you will dialogue.'

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the logger say to the talking tree, pleading to not be chopped down?

You will dialogue!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/superfuzzypotato
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the oak tree talk to anyone?

It didn’t want to dialogue.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/procrastiprov
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
How-do-we-make-babies joke

Okay, so this is my first post, so be gentle there. It s more a funny thing my dad did to mess with us than a dad joke. Our parents explained it to us , so i don t have the dialogues here. When we were little, my brother and I of course asked my parents how do we make babies, because we wanted a little bro or sis and they did not wanted us to get one. So we asked them how babies are made. They explained to us that you need 3 things ; a mother's belly , dad's seeds and a little bit of love. That was cute, they said that daddy had to put his seeds in mummy 's belly with the love. When we asked how, they told us to guess -this is why we thought babies were made by the bellybutton, they did really had fun with us- and then, finally, we asked them why they would not make us a little brother then. My father, had this brilliant idea to mess with us, which we sometimes did not notice, as we were little. He basically told us with a huge smile accros his face :" You know what ? If you find the good seeds, we'll make you one". My mother laughed but we took it seriously. We have apparently searched for hours even going in the basement, searching in mom's gardening seeds, ripping of the labels and bringing them to the parents to ask if these were the good ones . We eventually got fed up, and never asked my parents to have a sibling again.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/calam_n_fish
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
"Do you have any I's?"

Dialogue that just ensued between my wife and I. (We're sorting some invitations alphabetically)

Wife: "E, F, G, H, I..., Do you have any I's?" Me: "Yes, I have two." Wife: "Where are they? Can you hand them to me?" Me: "They're next to my nose. It might hurt to give them to you." Wife: "Huh?...Ohhh (Eye roll). That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

I was quite proud. She was annoyed.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nsdavis1
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
The man who saved Reddit

In the not too distant future, web censorship is pervasive; speech and freedom are strangers to one another; while pirates sail the seas with impunity, digital pirates are incarcerated by the busload.

Anyone who speaks out against this ban on open-dialogue or the free-sharing-of-ideas is ground down and hidden away, and the resistance is loosing its will.

A small group of contributors to reddit, huddled together in a bunker beneath barely-waving flags of Snoo, worked tirelessly to repost new ideas from around the internet, to release ideas from their chains, and make speech free ... again!

But it was not to be - a gang of the governments anti-piracy enforcers descended on this, the last bastion of humankind's will to share-freely. Arriving in an armored bus, ten shock-troopers breached the bunker and it looked like the day was lost.

Fortunately for us all, one brave redditor led the collective out a back entrance and they circled to the driveway. This leader told the other redditors to wait in the bushes while he overpowered the one soldier left guarding the transport. There was a flash of movement, a crack from a fallen branch as it struck the guard, and then, stolen keys in hand, the hero revved the engine and told the redditors to pile in.

He had to will himself ignore the gas gauge as he floored the accelerator on the 25,000 pound ticket to freedom - there was only survival or defeat, and nothing in between. Sirens came alive behind him as he rushed for the border to the promised land, to the Free-North.

As the engine begins to cough, the titanic weight of the transport cleaves the barricades asunder and the pursuing vehichles have to hard-brake to avoid skidding beyond their corrupt jurisdiction. Both exhausted and elated, the redditors follow their hero to the freedom promised by their new surroundings ... but their peril is not yet passed.

Though most of the pirate-hunters glower from the south-side of the border, one special agent has crossed over and is speaking with the border guards. The tension is thick. A long-faced guard turns to the newcomers, clearly troubled by what he must do.

"Folks," he says, a pained look on his kindly face, "I'm sorry, to do this, don't cha' know, but I got no choice, eh!"

Confused, the redditors look to one another, and tremble as they notice the agent's smug expression, greedy eyes fixed on the leader of the exodus.

"Look here, now, you are all welcome here, of course, and since speech is free here, we are

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Considering the Leaning Tower of Pisa, my daughter asked: Why don't the fix it?

Me: "If it ain't Baroque, don't fix it."

Daughter: 'blank stare'

Inner dialogue: "A wasted talent [Dad Jokes]."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peternemr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What would a couple of lumberjacks do at work?

They'd dialogue.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kmackay970
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Actual dad joke

Actual dialogue I walked in on:

Mom: β€œDid you and him have a fight or something?”

Dad: β€œNo”

Mom: β€œWell you’re really short”

Dad: β€œNo I’m not, I’m 6 foot 3”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kswans6
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A turkey flew through the window where my wife used to work

I told my wife about a recent story in /r/TalesFromTechSupport about a late-night alarm going off at work. She told me that at one of her previous employers, a turkey had flown through a window.

Her: I knew about it because I worked for the general counsel and she had to know about it.
Me: In case the turkey tried to sue?
Her: In case it was fowl play.

You may also enjoy A Previous Dialogue with My Wife

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfofurn
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife got me good

So we recently moved from the desert to the coast. The house we moved in to is just up the street from the what we call the bay, everyone else calls the river, but in reality should probably be classified as a sound.

well while exploring the area, we were taking in all the sights and sounds and smells and wildlife. The dialogue went something like this.

me: look at all the trees and birds and seagulls

wife: and bagels

me: .................bagels? where do you see bagels? looks around for truck or store of some kind

wife: the bagels

me: wtf are you......i hate you

Edit: since people don't seem to get it. Baygull

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/otp1144
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Sheep

This came to me this morning. I'm sure somebody has come up with it before, but for me it's original content.

If a sheep is having a dialogue in its own head, is that called internal bleating?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Domsdad666
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
🚨︎ report
"No, I'm a talking tree, don't kill me!"

Shame, you'll dialogue!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lorelei178
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
A man was chopping down a tree but was surprised when the tree suddenly exclaimed, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

then he responded, "And you will dialogue!"

πŸ‘︎ 155
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chopinsbach
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Tree before it gets cut down: wait! I'm a talking tree!

Lumberjack: and you will dialogue

πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

β€œYou can't cut me down,” the tree complains. β€œI’m a talking tree!”

The man responds, β€œYou may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Tree: wait I’m a talking tree!!

Lumberjack: yes, and you will dialogue

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealChai1554
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm about to chop this talking tree

It will dialogue

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eyooji
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack was about to cut off a tree when it suddenly said "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack then said: "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/detharos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A man is chopping down a tree…

The tree says to the man, β€œWait, I’m a talking tree.”

The man continues to chop and replies, β€œAnd you well dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenLeafGreg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Magic Forest

A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree
When he got there, he started to swing at a tree when it suddenly shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack laughed and said, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Tree: "Please don't chop me down, i'm a talking tree!."

Lumberjack: "Well, I guess you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ciaransheridan_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, β€œWait! I’m a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned, β€œAnd you will dialogue!"

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, β€œNO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack responded, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 283
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silentknight1991
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack goes into a forest to chop down a tree...

...but he didn't know it was a magic forest.

As he began to chop down a tree, the tree said "Wait I am a talking tree".

The lumberjack said "And you will dialogue".

πŸ‘︎ 363
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UlyssesFR
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went into a magical forest to cut a tree...

Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted "Wait! I'm a magical tree!"

The lumberjack grinned and said, "And you will dialogue".

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ManOfTheInBetween
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you color a talking tree?

Dialogue

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NelltownSkrelly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went to a magical forest to cut a tree...

Upon arrival, he began to swing at a tree, when it shouted,"Wait! I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack grinned, and said,"And you will dialogue."

The tree was stumped.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buy_an_sel-l
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree.

Upon arrival he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, "Wait, I'm a talking tree!". And the lumberjack grinned and said: "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lez_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut down a tree upon arrival he started cutting down trees until one tree shouted wait I'm a talking tree

Which he responded and you will dialogue!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xavierestes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
So I walked into a forest...

I walked into a forest to cut down a tree, once I arrived, I was about to take a swing at a tree, when it shouted, β€œWait I’m a talking tree!”

I smiled and said β€œ And you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.