Devilled Egg drawn by me.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunaBug235
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A list of over 350 Dad Jokes!

Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.

3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.

5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. β€œI’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. β€œSorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. β€œYou’re out of your head.”

A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'

A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. β€œWe don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. β€œWhy not?” one yogurt asks. β€œWe’re cultured.”

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, β€œWhat are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, β€œIt’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, β€œWhat’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, β€œArrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Armed robbersβ€”some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.

Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.

Can February March? No, but April May!

Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?

Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugasum
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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Bought some deviled eggs recently.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peters209
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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When satan lays an egg

it’s a devilled egg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zoyaabean
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My brother is a satanist..

No wonder he likes deviled eggs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_gay_potato_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2022
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Did you hear about the Costco employee who was arrested?

He had just gotten a promotion, and after a pep-talk from his manager, he began putting lead in the deviled eggs at the taste-testing kiosks. A lot of people got sick from it, and the company is being sued big time.

But in all fairness, his boss did tell him to lead people by egg-sample.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nutsacktetherball
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What happened when the chicken became possessed?

It became a poultrygeist and laid deviled eggs. They had to bring in a priest for an eggsorcism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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My food truck idea

Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.

"The Poach Coach"

Popular dishes:

  1. Eggs Been a Dick (2 poached eggs and 1 average but adequate size sausage)
  2. Omelette that one slide (you're choice of filling, but don't fucking test me)
  3. The Dwight Yolk Em' (served in a plastic cowboy hat to go. Must eat while walking the streets of Bakersfield) 4.The Mr. Burns Eggcellent Scramble (smithered with cheese)
  4. The Quiche a Grey (oralgasmic quiche with a money shot of sausage gravy)
  5. The John Denver Omelette (full of all kinds of shit)
  6. Jesus'ed egg (basically a deviled egg only more judgmental and boiled in holy water)
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sakibombs85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What would Jesus eat?

Probably angel food cake.

No deviled eggs.

Miracle whip on all his sandwiches.

Thomas's English muffins? Doubt it.

Hearts of palm on ice cream (a palm sundae).

Keep it going!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddit4nag
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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What food is forbidden at a church banquet?

Deviled Eggs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/em3179
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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What did the evil chicken lay?

Devilled eggs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paperglass1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2022
🚨︎ report
What is Satan’s favorite thing to have for breakfast?

Deviled eggs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Several-Cake1954
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2022
🚨︎ report
My dad told me he’s not gonna eat my deviled eggs this thanksgiving.

He told me they’re possessed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warus157
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I made my devilled eggs a little too spicy.

They were hot as hell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pnoize
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Long time listener first time caller

Funny how we eat the devils eggs on the day the lord has risen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourMomsFartBox69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the evil chicken lay?

Deviled eggs

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvK_27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2022
🚨︎ report
What did the evil chicken lay?

Deviled eggs

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2022
🚨︎ report
Coming From 8yo Cousin Over Thanksgiving Dinner;

What does an evil chicken lay?

Deviled Eggs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyKlix185
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the evil chicken lay.

Deviled eggs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/556jdog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What type of egg did the evil chicken lay

A deviled egg

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Fox1984
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of eggs does an evil chicken lay?

Deviled eggs

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of eggs does an evil chicken lay?

Deviled eggs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kenne26
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of eggs does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aderhold22
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do wicked chickens lay?

Deviled eggs.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravenwarrior131
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What does satan eat for breakfast?

Deviled eggs.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottManleyFan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do evil chickens lay?

Deviled Eggs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yolo_swag-brah22
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Too early for Dad jokes

So some friends and I were at the breakfast buffet at a hotel (road trip).

Friend #1: Hey look, deviled eggs!

Me: No those are just boiled eggs.

Other friend: Yea deviled eggs are prepared with some other stuff in it.

Friend #1: Yea yea whatever

15 minutes later, going for seconds

Friend #1: Hey, pass me a deviled egg.

All of us: It's just boiled, not deviled!

Friend #1: Relax, I'm just yolking around.

He was too proud of that one. Us, not so much..

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derpslayer27
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
🚨︎ report

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