They could've cleared that ship from the Suez Canal much faster, if they just would've filled the waterway with detergent
A rising Tide lifts all boats
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
Why do thieves never steal detergent?
They have nothing to Gain from it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over... now Iβm
Sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
My friend Margaret said she once fell into a large vat of detergent at the factory she worked...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 07 2020
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
Quarantine Tip #19: Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
I ran out of laundry detergent today. I didn't let it get me down.
I realized it was just the start of a whole new Era.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 04 2020
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 18 2019
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 05 2019
Nothing I can do about it
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Aug 01 2020
What kind of detergent does Snoop Dogg use?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry puns
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
I accidentally spilt a half bottle of laundry detergent. It landed in a conveniently placed bucket tho!
I was able to turn the tide.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 05 2019
Injured my back reaching for the laundry detergent, but hey...
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 10 2019
I would help but...
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
We thought the priests and ghost hunters finally helped us get rid of the annoying ghost that would move our laundry detergent around in our laundry room the past year.
But then, this morning, I walked into the laundry room again and saw the Tides had turned.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 27 2018
My grandma was a detergent hand model back in the day...
On the other hand, she had warts.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 17 2019
Its a locust solution to laundry detergent
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 24 2018
I think my laundry detergent didn't appreciate me pouring it in the washer.
I don't know why, but it just seems agitated.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 03 2019
The tides have turned
π︎ 116
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
Fancy stores are now adding bleach packets to their clothing that explodes if you try to steal them
Police say itβs a great a crime detergent
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 07 2021
I dropped a gallon jug of liquid laundry detergent and it exploded as it hit the pavement
I said βthatβs the end of an Era.β
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 02 2018
I can't believe anyone would want to eat laundry detergent.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 30 2018
The Beatles wrote a song about chocolate and laundry detergent.
And it was called Twix and Shout!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 13 2016
What happens when a person from Alabama drops his laundry detergent on a hill?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 19 2017
My mom just bought a different type of laundry detergent . . .
My dad held the bottle up and said, "If your mom would have stolen this, then it would be 'ill-gotten gain.'"
Yukyukyukyuk
π︎ 61
π
︎ Jul 25 2013
Laundry Detergent
My wife and sister were talking about laundry detergent the other day and her sister mentioned that Tide was coming out with a cheaper version of their detergent. I couldn't help but to chime in with "They should call it low tide"
π︎ 18
π
︎ Sep 16 2013
I read the headline about that guy in Spain who died when he drank dishwasher detergent to my dad...
"You mean it never Dawned on him that he was drinking detergent?"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 16 2015
The tide ebbed as the moon set in the west...
I made a mental note to pick up more detergent next time I'm in town.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 05 2020
I used to be addicted to soap
π︎ 80
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
I put my clothes in the washing machine yesterday and all of them came out with a picture of Santa on it.
I shouldnβt have used the Yule Tide Detergent.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 24 2019
Got my girlfriend with this one.
So my girlfriend calls me and asks if I can bring her some of my tide detergent pods because she is out of detergent. So I go over to her dorm and I brought a few extra and as I give them to her I say "here are a few extra to tide you over until you get more detergent." And she rolled her eyes and told me to get out but it was worth it
π︎ 798
π
︎ Feb 12 2016
Why did the warden give laundry soap to departing prisoners?
As a detergent against future grime.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 26 2018
So my dad was walking through the supermarket the other day...
when we got to the detergent isle he walked up to the bottles of Tide and turned them around. He turned around, saw the confused look on my face, and said "The Tides have turned!"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 18 2014
My fiancee set up my dad perfectly
My youngest sister's birthday party was the other day, and a couple of her gifts were two books from the "Divergent" series. So my Grandmother asked her "What are all the books called?"
Sister: "Well, there's Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant..."
Fiancee: "Detergent..."
Dad: "No, that's the clean version."
π︎ 23
π
︎ Mar 24 2014
This weekend my dad came to visit. We walked by a yoga studio downtown....
Then in the middle of our conversation he stops.
"I know this is a little off topic but I really need to know something."
"Sure Dad, what's up?"
"What kind of detergent do you use to get out a Namastain?"
cue daughterly groan
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 18 2015
I told my girlfriend that she couldn't handle the gains I was getting at the gym...
Response: "Gains? Laundry detergent doesn't provide that many benefits, hun."
Fuck.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 16 2014
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