Flawlessly executed a dad joke on my uncle and cousin

Uncle was showing me the new laptop he had purchased. I was giving him some tips on Windows 8 and certain apps he could download.

He commented on a hole in the drywall near his desk:

Uncle, "Is there an app that can fix holes in drywall?"

Me, "No...you'll have to download a patch."

Pause. Groan. Laughter.

I was so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ‘€︎ u/karadorde
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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Flawless pun.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrikhaIsOnReddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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What do u call a flawless bank robbery with no fingerprints left behind?

Stainless steal

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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Want an ice-breaker?


πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/Marvellous34
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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My dad was flawless with the execution of this zinger...

Me on the phone with my dad - "I got a cat!"

Dad - "What's it's name?"

Me - "Susan."

Dad - "So it's a girl?"

Me - "Of course...her name's Susan. Do you think I'd name a boy cat Susan?"

Dad - "No...I suppose that if it was a boy, it would B. Anthony."

Good one, Dad...

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ‘€︎ u/Diiiiirty
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2014
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Kanye writes haikus
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/YoniShifrin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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At an Indian restaurant with my parents.

An actual dad joke from about an hour ago. He delivered it flawlessly.

My dad holds up the empty bread basket to the waiter and, with a serious face, says "this bread, we have naan."

πŸ‘︎ 855
πŸ‘€︎ u/blebber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2014
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I couldn't duck this one.

My parents were over last night, and I was in the process of curing some duck breasts for Christmas. I was trimming the skin when my dad walked over.

"What are you doing there, son?"

"Curing this duck."

"I don't know if you can cure it. It looks dead to me."

Dammit, dad! Flawless execution.

πŸ‘︎ 434
πŸ‘€︎ u/CO_gunner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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I spent an hour placing containers of liquid next to each other perfectly

I wanted flawless jugstaposition.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryotaiku
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2016
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The Legend of Phillip Turr

Phillip Turr was one of the most handsome men to ever exist. Throughout high school, Phillip Turr was often called Photogenic Phil, due to his heartwarming smile.

Consequently, he was offered a modeling job before college. During his career, articles were often written about how photoshop was not even needed when it came to pictures of Phillip Turr, because he was just so flawless.

On one gloomy day, Phillip Turr was walking to one of his photoshoots and crossed the street at a busy intersection and sadly, Phillip Turr was hit by a reckless driver and was killed.

The next day, one of the photographers at the photoshoot that Phillip Turr was walking to posted a picture on Instagram to commemorate Phillip Turr's life. The picture was of an empty studio.

The caption of the photo read: Here is a picture of the place where the beautiful Phillip Turr would have stood yesterday had he not been tragically killed. RIP. #NoPhilTurr

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/CastYourBread
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2015
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I'm so proud of myself, got a girl on facebook.

Long story short, I yelled out that I thought this girl was hot, and I was already friends with a girl she was with. So she messaged me on facebook, and told me to talk to her. To find her on FB I had to know what her last name was, right?

>Me: What's her last name?

> Her: Long.

> Me: How long is it?

A perfect setup, a flawless execution.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/eenhuistke
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2015
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My nephew gets it

Cousin: No I can't, I have a dentist's appointment at 2:20

Nephew: You sure it's not at tooth-hurty? shit eating grin

He later admitted that he saw it on the internet a while ago, however, his execution was flawless.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/japooki
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
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Girlfriends grandpa pulled a classic at the dinner table

At the dinner table with girlfriend, her patents, and her Grandparents, eating Chinese. Mother goes "I have some lo-mein if anyone wants any"

And grandpa without missing a second "oh well do yo have any high-mein".


πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Roger420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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