πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€πŸŒΎfarming dem dad jokes huh son?

Right, so I was in the US to visit my American family in Florida, and my uncle comes up pretty much randomly as we were sunbathing at the pool, and he says: β€œI got a hen to regularly count her own eggs. She's a real mathamachicken!”

I bursted out laughing and couldn’t stop for another while

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Stijnheemskerk_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2020
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How do you like dem apples?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheBackstreetNet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2019
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dem punch lines tho
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fury55001337
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2019
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How about Dem. apples?!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mr-gem-524
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2017
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DOGE
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AwaitingCombat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2021
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There's an old saying in Florida, "Impeach me once, shame on you. Impeach me twice, shame on Me..."

"...lania."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eo_mahm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2020
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Political puns
πŸ‘οΈŽ 73
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2019
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What did the did the French tree leader say to the other French trees?

We dem bois

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ApocalypticCheeto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2020
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We should thank people ensuring essential services are available to us in this crisis

A pandemic without dem would lead to Panic

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DarkKnight_Jedi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
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β€œNope,” says the Pope.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 85
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2018
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Baker's Pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 79
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2014
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In school my teacher was a peach.

She had a heart if stone.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StevenBosc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2018
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I did a sugar plantation tour in Jamaica...

... the guide showed us all around the plantation and gave us the history of caster, granulated, confectioners, and pearl sugar. I asked the guide β€œhow much brown sugar do you make?”. He replied β€œno we have nunna dem here sir”

β€œWhy not? Are they harder to find?”

β€œYes. Demerara”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/feedmesteak
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2018
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Why trump is good at counter-strike?

cuz he got dem 'walls'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/protokoul
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2017
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What are a bodybuilder's favourite paintings?

Dem Gainsboroughs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Matti_Matti_Matti
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2016
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What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?

Carpet dem.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zoolilba
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2017
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Wife: I'm not a damsel in distress. Me:...

Nope, you're a damsel in dem shorts.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThisIsMyNewUserID
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2015
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He told me this one back when we first saw "The Day After Tomorrow"

[During the part when there's multiple hurricanes going on simultaneously]

Dad: You know, those hurricanes are female hurricanes. Me: Really? Dad: Yeah. Do you know what they call a male hurricane? Me: What? Dad: A himicane. Me: http://media.giphy.com/media/QxMnbEqDemX5e/giphy.gif

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hardcore9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2014
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