πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€πŸŒΎfarming dem dad jokes huh son?

Right, so I was in the US to visit my American family in Florida, and my uncle comes up pretty much randomly as we were sunbathing at the pool, and he says: β€œI got a hen to regularly count her own eggs. She's a real mathamachicken!”

I bursted out laughing and couldn’t stop for another while

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stijnheemskerk_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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How do you like dem apples?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBackstreetNet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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dem punch lines tho
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fury55001337
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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How about Dem. apples?!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-gem-524
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2017
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DOGE
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwaitingCombat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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Political puns
πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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There's an old saying in Florida, "Impeach me once, shame on you. Impeach me twice, shame on Me..."

"...lania."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eo_mahm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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What did the did the French tree leader say to the other French trees?

We dem bois

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ApocalypticCheeto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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β€œNope,” says the Pope.
πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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We should thank people ensuring essential services are available to us in this crisis

A pandemic without dem would lead to Panic

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkKnight_Jedi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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Baker's Pun
πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2014
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In school my teacher was a peach.

She had a heart if stone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StevenBosc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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I did a sugar plantation tour in Jamaica...

... the guide showed us all around the plantation and gave us the history of caster, granulated, confectioners, and pearl sugar. I asked the guide β€œhow much brown sugar do you make?”. He replied β€œno we have nunna dem here sir”

β€œWhy not? Are they harder to find?”

β€œYes. Demerara”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/feedmesteak
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
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Why trump is good at counter-strike?

cuz he got dem 'walls'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/protokoul
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
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What are a bodybuilder's favourite paintings?

Dem Gainsboroughs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matti_Matti_Matti
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2016
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What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?

Carpet dem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zoolilba
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
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Wife: I'm not a damsel in distress. Me:...

Nope, you're a damsel in dem shorts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisIsMyNewUserID
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
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He told me this one back when we first saw "The Day After Tomorrow"

[During the part when there's multiple hurricanes going on simultaneously]

Dad: You know, those hurricanes are female hurricanes. Me: Really? Dad: Yeah. Do you know what they call a male hurricane? Me: What? Dad: A himicane. Me: http://media.giphy.com/media/QxMnbEqDemX5e/giphy.gif

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardcore9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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