Tomorrow is either the dawn of a new day, or the day of an old don.

^

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeremymia
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Honnold sends the Dawn Wall...
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7sterling
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
They struck at dawn....
πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/artguy14
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
If twilight is the opposite of dawn then...

A drop of twilight and grease is there

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toady-The-Load
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Dawn

I used to wonder where the sun always went when it got dark but then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roxan1930
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My student told me β€œDucks get up at the quack of dawn.” I corrected him.

Ducks don’t get up. They get down.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are Greeks not morning people? Because Dawn is tough on grease.
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mookster1338
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Let’s start digging at the crack of dawn!
πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Dawn of the Planet of the Snapes (x-post from /r/battleshops)
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Going to get a friend named dawn that wakes up at noon.

That way I can say I always wake up before dawn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MYXDUDE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Dawn of the Dead is a 3 D movie.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I'll be home before dawn. Dad: who's Dawn?
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManCaveGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes soundtrack is prodigiously punny! (X-post from /r/movies, thought you guys would appreciate) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daw…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aznednacni
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes OST
  1. "Level Plaguing Field"
  2. "Look Who’s Stalking"
  3. "The Great Ape Processional"
  4. "Past Their Primates"
  5. "Close Encounters of the Furred Kind"
  6. "Monkey to the City"
  7. "The Lost City of Chimpanzee"
  8. "Along Simian Lines"
  9. "Caesar No Evil, Hear No Evil"
  10. "Monkey See, Monkey Coup"
  11. "Gorilla Warfare" 7:37
  12. "The Apes of Wrath"
  13. "Gibbon Take"
  14. "Aped Crusaders"
  15. "How Bonobo Can You Go"
  16. "Enough Monkeying Around"
  17. "Primates for Life"
  18. "Planet of the End Credits"
  19. "Ain’t That a Stinger"
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/walruspowers
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
🚨︎ report
Dawn of war (OC)
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
🚨︎ report
why don't Greeks like getting up in the morning?

Well, probably because dawn is tough on Greece

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leadonNC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night last night...

And then it dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.

Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.

That sail has shipped.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was,

Then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?

Because dawn is tough on Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 406
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πŸ‘€︎ u/westtxfun
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
When it finally dawned on Watson that it was the limestone he exclaimed β€œBut Holmes, how did you know?!” /r/3amjokes/comments/fmr0…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenVosReinaert
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I was up all of last night, trying to find my keys

Then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Folically-endowed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad isn’t usually one full of dad jokes, but he hit me with a great one today.

For context, my dad had a leg amputation a few months back but he’s been in mostly good spirits about it. We were talking about places to eat in our area, and he asked where one of the fast food restaurants was around here, so I said β€œIt’s at the intersection, where the IHOP is.”

Dad replied, β€œOh, that’s my favorite place to get breakfast.”

I never got food with my dad at IHOP before so I was confused, but then it dawned on me what he meant. 😐

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kalleh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I was watching the sun rise, when it dawned on me
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I was in a KFC in Prague, standing in line waiting to order my lunch when I noticed the beautiful girl wearing a black and white tiled apron who was giving the man in front of me a bucket of Buffalo wings..and then it dawned on me.

I was checking out a chequered Czech check-out chick who was checking out some chicken at the checkout.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buggaboobooy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the duck so tired?

He woke up at the quack of dawn.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Near the end of my wife's pregnancy she suddenly began yelling out "can't!", "won't!", "shan't!", "mustn't!", and suddenly it dawned on me..

I think she's having contractions!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night to watch the sunrise.

Then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReelBigKeith
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night trying to remember her name

Then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holysitkit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A knight was trying to woo several maidens he knew with some jokes...

He had different kinds of jokes for each maiden, as he knew they each had different types of humor. Margaret was first, and the knight stood before her and tried out a new knock knock joke. A boy watching nearby asked his mother, "why did he tell her a knock knock joke?" The mother replied, "well sweetie that's because her husband used to always tell them, so she appreciates them more." Next was Priscilla, and as the knight stood before her he tried out the joke the court jester told him. "Why did the knight use a court jester joke?" Asked the boy. "Well sweetie that's because Priscilla isnt very bright and she wouldnt understand most other jokes." Finally it was Dawn's turn. The knight began his joke but the mother quickly covered the boys ears. "Why did you do that?" Asked the boy. "Because you are too young for the humor the knight uses on her, and the knight is always darkest before Dawn."

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeChadley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
We may have Easter in spring, but in the opposite end of the year,

we have Wester

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get John Travolta out of your cheese?

Use Dawn. It takes Grease out of your whey.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What time do ducks wake up?

At the quack of dawn!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn't know someone had watered down the soap until it Dawned on me.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/christag
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
🚨︎ report
Couldn’t figure out when sunrise was supposed to be this morning

Luckily it finally dawned on me.

πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ Got a big 12 pound brisket on the grill today, and several more dad jokes in the chamber. Doin dad stuff.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad loved to recount his adventures...

One time he told me how he hiked in the mountains, sat on a rock, and wondered all night where the sun had gone...

...and then it dawned on him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Attinaux
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought it was odd when I saw a police officer dressed up as an airline pilot.

Then it dawned on me...

He must be one of those plane clothes cops!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MsUneek
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor Visit

A woman comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies, "Dawn referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache.' It worked... The headaches are all gone."

The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "That was wonderful..."

The husband says, "Don't move... I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom.

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do the people of Athens not wake up early?

Because Dawn is tough on Greece

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheezzlez
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went...

Then, it dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early ?

Because dawn is tough on Greece

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night, wondering where the sun went.

And then it dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Feels_Bad_Man19
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it hard to wake up in Athens?

Dawn is tough on Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 150
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Drunk3nMonkey5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what really makes my day?

The rotation of the earth

πŸ‘︎ 237
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KnifeLegend19
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
People in Athens hate getting up early

Because Dawn is tough on Greece

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/you_buy_this_shit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't people in Athens get up early?

Because dawn is tough on Greece

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me
πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnathanWickers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I once stayed up all night trying to figure out where the Sun went

then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anay28
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do people in Athens have a hard time waking up in the morning?

Because dawn is tough on Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Peacesquatch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was up all night wondering where the sun went

Then it dawned on me

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toph125
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report

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