My local pastor is a keen motor cyclist...

He's just bought himself a Holy Davidson.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 10 2021
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How can you tell if a cyclist is happy?

All the bugs in his teeth

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👤︎ u/pablo_woo
📅︎ Dec 27 2020
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What do you call a Nordic cyclist with a Filipino accent?

Biking.

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📅︎ Jul 13 2020
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I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.

For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.

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📅︎ Jun 04 2020
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A cyclist is struggling up a long steep hill

A cyclist is struggling up a long steep hill on his bike, when he is met by a good Samaritan in a car. The guy offers him a long rope to tow him up the hill and the cyclist gratefully accepts. By the time they get to the top of the hill, the guy driving forgets he is towing the cyclist and heads on to the highway, with the poor cyclist ringing his bell in vain. In the meantime, a couple see them drive past their car on the highway and the wife turns to her husband:

"Wow, that car's going pretty fast, isn't it?" The husband replies, "the car?! Look at the cyclist behind him! He's going so fast he's ringing the bell to get the car to move out of the way!"

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📅︎ May 06 2020
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No one advocates for cyclists these days

They really need a spokes man

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📅︎ Jun 29 2018
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How do you convince a cyclist to head back home?

Reverse cyclology.

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👤︎ u/buffi
📅︎ Apr 24 2015
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I'm a father of 5 and an avid cyclist. My 8 year old son came to me with this one yesterday.

8yo: "Dad! I've got a joke I think you'll like. It's about bikes."
Me: "Yeah? What is it?"
8yo: "What kind of moustache does a bike grow?"
Me: "I don't know."
8yo: "A handlebar!"

I'm very proud.

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📅︎ Jun 10 2016
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I made up a racist joke.

A cyclist, a swimmer, a jockey, and a greyhound all walk into a bar.

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👤︎ u/oninekko
📅︎ Feb 06 2015
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Watching the Olympic track cycling...

My housemate: Do they have brakes?

Me: No, because then somebody would have to remember whereabouts on the track all the cyclists were while they got a bottle of water and a snack.

My housemate: ugh.

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👤︎ u/kambian
📅︎ Aug 12 2016
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Got my girlfriend on an early drive this morning.

My girlfriend was driving us to into town early this morning for work, it was dark and we all had lights on. A waste disposal truck coming the other way narrowly misses us as it overtakes a cyclist on a blind corner. My girlfriend gets angry because of their stupidity, I wait a split second and say:

"I guess they're just a rubbish lorry driver"

It didn't defuse the situation...

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📅︎ Oct 07 2014
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What do you call the president on a bike?

A cyclist

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👤︎ u/Viter
📅︎ Feb 18 2015
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Waiting to be picked up.

So I was waiting after school for my dad to pick me up and he had me go to the gas station by the school. I get there and there's a cyclist group just resting drinking waters, etc. My dad pulls up and I get in the car as he asks "Were you nervous waiting being around all those bikers?"

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👤︎ u/Dobott
📅︎ Oct 30 2013
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