What do you call a moose that crosses the red sea?

Mooses.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 118
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cringemuffin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Q: What do you get when a chicken crosses a pig?

A: Beef

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sevenaces
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Bolt crosses the Finish line to win another gold medal [2016]
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_wastl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you ask the bridge that crosses New York's Hudson River between Tarrytown and Nyack if it speaks German?

Tappan Zee Deutsche?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mftheoryArts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
If Luis Fonsi crosses the border...

...does he become trespacito?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_MrFlippy_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I got a tattoo of a clock on my foot while playing noughts and crosses.

Tick-Tock-Toe

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a joint crosses the street?

J- walking

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/El_chupacabra611
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2017
🚨︎ report
What would you call a chicken who crosses the road while abiding by road laws

Legal tender

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/StickmanSham
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2016
🚨︎ report
My grandmother has many religious statues, crosses, and cats in her house.

No doubt she's a Cat-holic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/23farendheight
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2017
🚨︎ report
What is it called when Gatsby crosses the street?

Jaywalking.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/afistofirony
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2014
🚨︎ report
Why are Lab-Collie crosses so good in teams?

They're natural Collaboradors!

(Sorry)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FrequencySulphur1916
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Did I tell you guys about the cross-eyed teacher?

She couldn’t control her pupils.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerebolic-parabellum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My vet picked up my dog, looked at him and confirmed that he was cross-eyed and that he had to be put down.

Confused and upset, I asked why.

The vet advised he was too heavy to hold any longer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 107
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the tree cross the street?

They were opening a new branch on the other side

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/scarcityflow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a pit bull and a computer?

Not sure !! But when it megabytes, it megahertz.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/deleted_acc0unt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?

A walkie-talkie

πŸ‘οΈŽ 38
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nickef
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".

That was the punchline

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road?

Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My 9 year old told me this....What do you get when you cross a pig and an oven ??

Bakin'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 124
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My son and I were waiting at a train crossing. He tells me "that train looks bigger than I remember"

So I say, "It's been training"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a Elephant with a Rino?

Ele-phi-no.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Unclebigfoote
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a angry cow?

you get two animals in a baaaaaaaad moooooooood

Edit: Thank u for the gold, kind stranger

πŸ‘οΈŽ 781
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dudesxx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most boring body of water to cross?

The Redundan-Sea

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't think of a better way to cross the lake

Canoe?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Alecdoconnor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack

πŸ‘οΈŽ 115
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ripmylasagna
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a hedgehog and a pig?

A porkupine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
My 5 year old just got me with this one: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?

Frostbite!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ilikecake81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
what do you get when you cross a shih tzu and a bulldog?

bullshit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beanwithintentions
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. β€œHey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?”

Because the chicken had the day off.

Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isn’t divulging her sources. Hilarious.

Edit: The first joke she’s told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 678
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EagleTG
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a porcupine and a dodgeball?

A painful game.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Obese-Boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

About halfway.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 295
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was poultry in motion.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/2ndbreakfastfan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross a shoe with a tent?

Boot camp!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DecIsMuchJuvenile
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a French Ruler and a grenade?

Napoleon Blown-Apart!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/frugatti_cuse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I'd like to plug my wife's attempt to cross the Atlantic in a bath tub.

But it's too late....she sank.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the girl cross with the guy after he broke up with her?

Because she was an X.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuperWizard7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know the story about the chicken that crossed the border?

Me neither, I couldn't follow it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/longestyeahboiiyet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand store.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Timsonater
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross Scandinavian landscapes with an American car company?

A fjord fusion.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gabeeb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to stop cross dressing.

So I packed her things and left.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 597
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dm-me-potatoes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Whar did the chicken say when he crossed the road?

I don't know, I couldn't hear him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SkateBoardEddie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Ell if I no

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kevin407
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're going to take up Cross Country skiing...

It's best to start with a small Country.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to the auto repair shop to get his pick up cluck.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ClearProgram
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road? (Punchline is different)

different

πŸ‘οΈŽ 223
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gamerx1353
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SleepyZ92
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?

About halfway.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A chicken crossing the road...

is poultry in motion.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see the chicken strip

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EHDAwesomeness
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the sperm cross the road today?

Because I wore the wrong Socks on...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Waizun
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road???

It was stuck in a crack.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Daymondotcom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic ?

About half way.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.