To avoid cross contamination
Mooses.
A: Beef
...does he become trespacito?
Tappan Zee Deutsche?
Tick-Tock-Toe
Legal tender
J- walking
No doubt she's a Cat-holic.
Jaywalking.
They're natural Collaboradors!
(Sorry)
Hot cross puns.
I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]
Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, βA pun is the lowest form of wit,β a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.
Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, βIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.β Oscar Levant has added a tag line: βA pun is the lowest form of humorβwhen you donβt think of it first.β John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.β
Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, βTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... β
Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and thoβ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.
Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesnβt mean that the punnery isnβt fu
... keep reading on reddit β‘
He couldn't control his pupils.
You get two animals in a baaaaaaaaaaad mooooooooooood.
God, my life is a joke.
Because it got stuck in a crack.
I found out she was seeing someone on the side
He was stapled to the chicken.
A Collie-flower!
Bow-chicka-bow-wow
Humpty Dumpty
Vladimir Gluten.
To get to the other pride
A sPUGhetti.
A boring 747
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
It was on my bucket list.
Elephino (hell if I know)
Because you wear the wrong sock this morning
Because their were too many millionaires on the other side.
To see his flat mate
Because it's a feline.
My family doesn't appreciate my humor.
Cocka-poodle-doo!
You get jail time for animal cruelty
A dictator.
Collie-flour!
He wanted to go on another sidewalk.
Labracadabrador
To get to the other sigh
they drilled a Pilate hole.
No tres passing.β
It did not because it can't walk.
I told them that I would shift as best I could...
It left its tracks
Squash
Because he got stuck in a crack.
She couldnβt control her pupils.
To say βhelloβ from the other side.
To see his flat mate.
Elephino
