How do crabs get to school?

They use the side walk!

  • came up with this while walking to work today (I work in education)*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HyruleTrigger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Why did the crab like living alone?

He was a real hermit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Why do crabs never give to charity!?

Because they are shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astro_philia
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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Who do baby crabs send letters to at Christmas?

Santa Claws

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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The crab

A female crab saw a male crab walking straight, not sideways, like other crabs did.

β€˜This guy is really really special’, she thought, and asked him out. Soon they were married.

A few days later she saw him walking sideways just like the other crabs, and was disappointed and angry.

β€˜You lied to me!’ She said. β€˜I thought you were different and special!’

The crab said β€˜Oh honey, you know I can’t drink that much everyday!’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deepimpact1234
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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I was interrogating a crab the other day and I asked it β€œWhat’s your name? Where do you live? What’s that on your back?”

It said β€œMichelle”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KinglerKong
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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Why did the crab cross the road?

He wanted to go on another sidewalk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhatProtomolecule
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
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What is a cannibal crab having for his birthday?

Crab cake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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Why don’t crabs and lobsters donate to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corvette-Ronnie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Did you know the giant crab from Moana changed his name to Tamatoa after he got shiny?

Used to be called Matt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cobclob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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A man walks into a bakery holding a crab

The man approaches a baker and says "excuse me, do you serve crab cakes here?"

The baker replies "no, we do not."

Saddened, the man lifts up the crab and says "what a shame... it's his cake day."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/patentpunk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Tae Kwon Donkey (The Ass that kicks back) And Crab Maga (The Krav Maga crab that doesn’t just talk crab, he backs it up). Figured this community of punsters would appreciate the universe we are creating on Patreon. reddit.com/gallery/lgzbtq
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KicksandStrings
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What is the difference between an old bus station and a crab with a boob job?

Ones a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VoltrenXytech
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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How can you tell if the Christmas crab has been to your house?

By the sandy claws tracks..... my dad just told my brothers and I that one now. Not sure if it’s been posted already

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πŸ‘€︎ u/corn0nthe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Why do crabs never share?

Because they're shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Why wouldn’t the crab share his Halloween candy?

He’s shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Why did the crab have to delay retirement?

No pinchin'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SethKadoodles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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All my crabs were pissed at me after I told them I must cook and eat them...

They were steamed!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What Mr. Crabs wears under his pants?

Crabby panties

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πŸ‘€︎ u/farquaadschin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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What do you call a crab that throws things?

A lobster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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I just hooked up with a reclusive girl on Tinder...

She gave me hermit crabs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPapaChuck73
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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I saw an interview with Sean Connery about how he used to scuba dive for seafood. He said, "everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,

that's shellfish."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a crab feel when it eats too much?

Clawful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greyconscience
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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What do you call a greedy crab?

Shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/perrin7433
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Why do crabs dislike oysters?

Because they are shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaReehlEza
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with massive boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PringyUK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Does anyone have a hermit crab named

Leonardo da Pinchi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CountZachkula
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What would a hermit crab want with a smartphone?

It takes a lot of shellfies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exaball
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the crab never share?

Because he's shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soulful_Karma668
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?

King's Crustation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmytheelf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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My dad told me to never trust crabs

They’re shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darksider201cz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Do they though?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BBPDemand
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Granny Smith and her Crab Apple
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kidkyler
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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Kermit Crabs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then i realised "am i really this shellfish"?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anti-vaxxer-hater
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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What kind of crustaceans are into BDSM?

Dungeoness crabs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thunkbunk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Just got my pet hermit crab a new home

He named it Michelle

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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Why did the crab never share?

'Cause he was shell-fish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Because they are shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bon-Echo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t crabs give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crab that throws things?

Lobster

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrdangwangpang
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they’re shellfish.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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