My girlfriend bought me a cowskin rug for christmas and its too big for my apartment. I was wondering if anyone knew of a way to hang it without poking holes in it. http://uglyhousephotos.com/wordpress/?p=4694
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
Warning: unedited; questionable language.
Previously: The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Let us all be comforted that in the year in which He took two of television's brightest shining stars, Brett Somers and Charles Nelson Reilly, He also gave us Rock Of Love. A belated birthday shout-out goes to the heavenly father.
We begin in the morning, with the girls sleeping off their previous night of debauchery -- some harder than others, Tiffany -- and Bret in the gym. I...don't think he really knows how to use that equipment. He has sixteen "of the most gorgeous women in the world" left. Has the syphilis made Bret go blind, do you think? In any case, he needs to get to know them more intimately. That's right -- it's the handjob episode!
Tiffany is clearly still the talk of the house. Lacey notes that Tiffany got plowed and really didn't make a good first impression. We get a little flashback sequence, including one previously unseen moment of Tiffany slurring, "So how 'bout the Bearssssssss?" She is truly the John Goodman of buxom alcoholic redheads. She is considered a drunken mess among girls who really like to drink, so you do the math. The fact that Tiffany is still in the house makes Lacey raise an eyebrow, but she thinks she'll be gone soon enough. Tiffany says that she got a little extreme on the first night, and that today is just going to be more low-key.
Meanwhile, Erin is telling some of the other girls about her ex-fiancé. Turns out she was supposed to be getting married this May. The others are shocked. And then who should be standing on the stairs eavesdropping like Mr. Furley but Heather. Also like Mr. Furley, Heather apparently has one bad ear, because she missed the "ex" part. She can't believe Erin has a fiancé, and is determined to get Erin's phony ass (and circus boobs) out of there. Erin adds that her fiancé told her he didn't love her anymore, and that was the end. When even circus boobs can't keep a man, it's a bad scene.
As it turns out, to hang with a rock star you have to drink all day long, so the girls hit the bar early. I find no fault with that. If I could start every day with a couple well-appointed mimosas, I'd be a much more pleasant person. Heather says that she got the party started, and some of the girls form a little band on the stage. It sounds like glass breaking and cats wailing. Bret, thinking his old bandmates have come for a little action, leaves the weight machine and rushes into the main part of the hou
... keep reading on reddit ➡It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
