Despite curfews in place around the county, cops are out all night clubbing.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrGutierrez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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When I went to the county courthouse to pay my fines with a bag full of dimes, the clerk wasn't very happy...

It was in tenths.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeskies307
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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The county fair had some interesting shows
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suremantank
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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Spotted at the county fair. He's probably part of the Hay-waymen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HosstaLaVista
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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What county is known for having the best sales?

Discounty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/themaaannn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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One day I hope to explore all the cool things in Madison County, Iowa...

But I’m just not ready to cross those bridges.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theprints
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who got lost sailing from Marin County to Catalina Island?

He left his chart in San Francisco.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eroe777
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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My friend is a county-renowned dermatologist...

He often makes rash decisions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Driving, usually on the highway or the county...

Me: Oh, look! A flock of cows.

Daughter: HERD of cows!

Me: Of course I've heard of them, there's a flock right there!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbassfingerss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2017
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A tiny hamlet in my county burned down completely because a kid was playing with matches.

It takes a child to raze a village.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2018
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My wife and I were driving by the county jail and we saw a midget who was climbing out the window attempting to escape.

I said, "Well that's a little con-descending."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PenguinGrylls
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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Does this county?

When anyone mentions anything about the county of Surrey I always say 'Well there is no need to apologize'.

Good one for the dad joke bank (UKDJB)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IrationSteppas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2016
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A powerful explosion in the county courtroom...

...had considerable impact on the prosecutor's hearing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeywithanr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2014
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A lot of people recognized him, considering the work he did for a popular county newspaper.

Random Person: I think I've seen you somewhere before..

Dad: Probably. They have my picture hanging up in the post office.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superherosam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
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County fair dad joke.

My family and I walked into the sheep barn at the county fair. My son proclaims loudly. " dad, it stinks in here" to which I reply. " ya ,it smells like ewe". While looking him dead in the eye. It took all involved about 15 seconds before eyes were rolled and the usual ohh daaaad commenced.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grumpycowboy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2014
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My wife went to the county fair tonight...

When she got home, she told me about how excited she was to see all the animalsβ€”except the geese and the chickens. I asked her why not those two, and she said, "Because they're aggressive fowl."

I responded, "I guess they were in a really fowl mood, then, huh?" She wasn't amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottheisel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2014
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