Contraception Puns

A list of puns related to "Contraception"

When buying an exotic flower for your lover there are two choices. Use contraception…

Orchid

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👤︎ u/Irv-Elephant
📅︎ May 10 2020
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My girlfriend just told me about a contraceptive that has a 100% success rate...

It's inconceivable!

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👤︎ u/nodnarb232001
📅︎ Oct 21 2019
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Mary was born without a uterus

It was immaculate contraception

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👤︎ u/wushock4
📅︎ Mar 25 2021
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What kind of contraceptive does a white hillbilly use?

Water. Everybody knows a wet cracker won't go bang.

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👤︎ u/xtanol
📅︎ Nov 06 2018
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What's a Catholic contraceptive store called.

Condemn Nation

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👤︎ u/Bakon42
📅︎ Apr 12 2017
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Did you hear about RISUG/Vasalgel contraceptive?

There is a vas deferens between it and the traditional pill.

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👤︎ u/Primatebuddy
📅︎ Sep 29 2015
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Request for sexy grammatical pun

Can someone think up a pun that comes from the phrase "Proper Comma Usage" but also relates to the most popular form of male-member based contraception?

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👤︎ u/dice777
📅︎ Feb 16 2015
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Egyptian Goddess

My dad and I were watching a quiz show earlier today, and there was a question about the Ancient Egyptian cat-headed 'goddess of protection.'

I asked him if that's what they relied upon before contraception. He replied, 'Yes, prophylactcats.'

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👤︎ u/MullGeek
📅︎ Feb 10 2015
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Daughter's dadjoke in sex ed class.

She asked, "Do you think they'll ever name a contraceptive, 'Stop Kidding Yourself?'"

She didn't get in trouble, but the teacher was reportedly unamused.

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👤︎ u/_neon_reflected
📅︎ Sep 25 2014
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