My wife was just conned into buying an awful used mirror.
It reflects poorly on her.
π︎ 213
π
︎ Aug 06 2018
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 29 2018
A Little Con Descending
https://preview.redd.it/9auxavpt25d61.jpg?width=481&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=420abab00fc836d0bea8185270be4b870d10b133
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
A man tries to teach his son the cons of alcohol.
he gets two worms, puts one in vodka, and one in water. The worm in vodka dies in 20 minutes, while the worm in water survives 3 whole days. the man asks his son, "what did you learn today?" and the son responds "never bathe in alcohol"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
While you're making your decision, here are some pros and cons:
Pros: Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady
Cons: Al Capone, Frank Abagnale, Ted Bundy
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
I have sex daily
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
What do you call a joy con knife? a SWITCHBLADE
this plays off another, funnier post but i couldn't find it again
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
I'm worried that the supreme court will lack empathy now that Ginsburg is gone.
Without her they're ruthless.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
If Pro is the opposite of Con, what is the opposite of progress?
And don't forget constitution.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 19 2020
An e-con major.....
π︎ 40
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
There must be a huge percentage of con men named Conner
So basically, stockbrokers.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
Why do con artists never run out of lollipops?
Because there's a sucker born every minute.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?
He was taken for granite.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Found Martin Griffiths on comic con, he did commissions and drew me a tattoo :D
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
There is a HUGE snowstorm today in Washington, DC
There are thousands of snowflakes gathering in DC, crying because they lost the election and they can't con their way to victory.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
To the class of 2020, con-graduations
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 23 2020
What do you call an Egyptian architect turned con man?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 24 2020
What can you attach to a ball, a harp, or a cart to make something completely different?
π︎ 192
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad-joke pun...and itβs amazing
π︎ 532
π
︎ Sep 09 2019
A mean crook going down stairs =
A condescending con, descending.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.
That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 10 2021
What do you call a con artist that can air bend?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 15 2020
I was gonna tell a joke about copper
But i Cu are not interested
π︎ 94
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Did you hear about the group of hulk cos-players at comic con?
They held a challenge to see how could get angrier then them.
It was out-rage-us!
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 02 2020
Just got offered a job teaching poetry in prison.
Spent all night thinking about the prose and cons.
π︎ 221
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
Why is it a good idea to put more books in prison libraries?
Because the prose outweigh the cons.
π︎ 206
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
What are the Pros and Cons of having a Switch?
A Pro controller and Joy Cons.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
Did you hear the one about the stone mason who was married to a con artist?
She took him for granite.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
Mitochondria would be a great prison nickname.
They'd be the powerhouse of the cell.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jul 22 2018
I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.
Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
You know, people made fun of trump for the way he went down that ramp.
It was a little con descending in my opinion.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
Pigs
Person 1: I will marry you when pigs fly.
Me: Swine Flu...
(end up getting married to my bae...con)
Not a true story. Something from the pig-ment of my imagination.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
Say what you will about anti-vaxxers, flat earthers and young earth Creationists, at least they all have a good conscience...
...especially as they constantly come out with tons of con-science.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 22 2020
What do you call a narcissistic criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
pros and cons of switch
π︎ 36
π
︎ Jun 05 2019
I wrote a book about how convicted felons can use fiction writing to work through their experiences and achieve better rehabilitation outcomes.
It's called, "Prose and Cons".
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
What a con-cept
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jun 17 2019
If the opposite of pros are cons, then the opposite of progress is...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 08 2019
I want to start a career as a counterfeit poetry books salesman, but I'm still undecided.
There's lots of prose and cons.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
Where do all the geeky robots like to hang out?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 01 2020
What will you call two quizzers having a date in spain comic con?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 28 2019
Visible confusion
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 27 2019
If pro is the opposite of con,
is progress the opposite of congress?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
Pros and Cons of making food
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
Cosplayers are just con artists
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 18 2020
If the opposite of βproβ is βconβ,
Then the opposite of βprogressβ is βCongressβ
(Dads can be woke too)
π︎ 210
π
︎ Jun 28 2019
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