Commit Murder Puns

A list of puns related to "Commit Murder"

If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada

is it a 34 degree murder in the US?

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👤︎ u/FriezaAndHoushi
📅︎ Aug 20 2020
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What do you call someone who commits a murder with a deck of cards that only has clubs, spades, and diamonds?

Heartless

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👤︎ u/lego_luke
📅︎ May 22 2020
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Why did the car commit murder

Automotives

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👤︎ u/caaaaaaaarrrrl
📅︎ Feb 04 2020
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What do you call it when a lizard commits murder?

Killing in cold blood.

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👤︎ u/l3373r7h4nu
📅︎ Jul 27 2019
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If I ever need to commit murder I'll do it with an ax

That way I can claimed it was ax-idental.

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👤︎ u/crochetyhooker
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
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What did the fish say before commiting murder?

I'm gonna GILL you!

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👤︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
📅︎ Jun 24 2019
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I just committed a murder

Those crows are finally getting the mental health care they so desperately needed

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👤︎ u/thkoog
📅︎ Mar 11 2019
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Did you hear about why the train conductor committed murder?

It was a loco motive.

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👤︎ u/TxAzure
📅︎ Dec 28 2017
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After Cain committed the first murder....

His whole family was dis-Abled.

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👤︎ u/t-rexatron
📅︎ Jul 31 2016
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4 prisoners are telling each other what they were convicted for

The First man says: I committed 2nd degree murder

The Second says: I committed: 1st degree assault

The Third says: I committed 1st degree possession of drugs

The Fourth man simply says: Arson

The Second man asks him: What degree was it?

The Fourth man responds: I'm not sure, it was pretty hot though. About 525 Celsius-ish

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👤︎ u/InsectNation1
📅︎ Nov 29 2020
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Why did the crows' psychiatrist get sent to jail?

Because he committed a murder!

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👤︎ u/LottaLottaMusic
📅︎ Mar 12 2019
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Got an eye roll from my girlfriend for this...

Me: Have you ever thought about committing a murder?

Her: Yes! glares

Me: But don't you think it would be hard to get a mental institution to accept a group of crows?

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👤︎ u/icewewe
📅︎ Jan 02 2015
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