Q: What do you do if a piece of purple fruit gets stuck in the drain and clogs it?
A: Call the plumber.
Q: What do you do if you live in a purple house and the lights go out?
A: Go to the fuchsia box.
Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?
A: Make them do limeout.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
(I've posted these on various places on the web outside of Reddit over the years under various screen names.)
My team color is maroon and we need a team name! Color puns are desired
camelflage
Hue Hue Hue.
edit: im dumb
They are the only colors I see.
I hate it more than blue and red combined
England: colour
America:humor England:humour
America: flavor England: flavour
England: what are you doing? America: Iβm just getting rid of u
Light blue
It'll cyan out
Perrywrinkle!
#CLEAR!!!!!
He dyed.
Eggwhite
But it just turned out to be a pigment of my imagination.
OCHRE
It dyed.
..With Or Without u.
...however my wife disagrees, and is no longer letting me use the washing machine.
With a Sharpie.
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit β‘Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
It really came out of the purple
Deep navy
My uncle's in dyer need.
Color me impressed!
Dick gray, son!
The news came completely out of the green.
Itβs believed both crews have been marooned
Though it could just be a pigment of my imagination.
I dunno, Alask-em
Unfortunately, it just made the world cold and gray...
Thatβs when I finally realized Iβm colorblind
It's full of twists and turns.
By their huemidity
If that makes me a chromosexual, then be it!
Deep blue
A stand-up chameleon.
He had a reptile dysfunction
50 shades of gay
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini
A pigment of your imagination.
I don't know I feel about it.
He then corrected himself. What he meant to say, was pencils of color.
Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination
I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.
I think he has a reptile dysfunction.
It glows with everything.
Toblacko
βI donβt know man, you look kinda gray to me.β
Crayola virus
Because the pee is silent....
Credit my buddy Cameron.
He's wan.
A high schooler wants to ask his best female friend to prom. Because theyβve been friends for so long, he really wants to make his βpromposalβ special. He talks to his friends, he talks to her friends, and spends days planning the perfect moment. Happily, she says yes!
Over the next couple of months, she sends him different styles and colors of ideas for her dress. He tells honestly that sheβs always been beautiful to him, and privately to himself, he is now realizing he has strong feelings for her. He knows he needs to tell her.
The night of the prom, heβs extremely anxious. What if he says something stupid? What if she laughs at him or doesnβt return his feelings? What if she thinks heβs a terrible dancer? All of these thoughts are swirling around in his mind as both their parents fuss over them and make them pose for a million photos.
They get to the prom and heβs even more anxious. Itβs dark, itβs loud, itβs crowded. They have to shout to be heard. But she grabs his hand, leads him to the dance floor, and they forget everything and everyone around them. A while later, as the songs have gotten slower, he can feel his heart pounding. He thinks itβs finally the right time. He leans down and whispers the truth in her ear, the truth about having loved her since they met in second grade. She starts to cry happy tears, saying sheβs always loved him too, and they kiss. As the song ends and changes to something fast again, he asks her if sheβd like to sit and have a drink. She says yes, could he please get her some punch?
He feels like heβs walking on clouds as he goes over to where the drinks and food are laid out. He wants to get back to her right away and hopes he doesnβt have to wait too long at the refreshments table.
He makes his way through the crowd, and is able to get their drinks and return to his waiting love within just a couple of minutes. Because, would you believe it?
There was no punch line.
Hy-purple-y!
Made up by my 7-year old daughter. So proud
Edit: should have spelled it hy-purple-e
Or maybe it was just a pigment of my imagination
Blue paint
I asked him why, he says βI donβt wanna get crayola virusβ.
bc their comfort is unmatched.
The doctor said I'm okay
But inside I'm dyeing
...but it was just a pigment of my imagination.
All white, all white, all white.
He dyed on impact.
I dyed a little on the inside...then I blue chunks
Urine trouble.
Today I held up three colored balls in my hand. One red, one green, and one blue. My 1yr old son (after much debate) chose the red one. Iβve never been so proud. He has earned the right to play with my old game boy now.
He had a reptile dysfunction.
I have recently been diagnosed with color blindness. It really came out of the purple.
Donβt hurt me.
He had a reptile dysfunction
He had a reptile dysfunction.
He had a reptile dysfunction
He had a reptile dysfunction.
