Color Commentator Puns

To comfort him I sat next to him, patted his back and said, "They're, their, there..."

I said 'be careful, she might leave you.'

He did not get it at first, so I had to repeat myself a couple of times...but I would have done that anyway.

"Hey dad?"

"Yes dear?"

"Hey, im not a DEER!"

Caught me off guard so early in the morn. It was quick, and it was glorious. I need to step my game up before i lose my throne....

John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced color pigments. John was placed in the 'Pink Pigment' department which was incidentally between the 'Red Pigment' and 'White Pigment' departments. He was really good at his job and was constantly praised for the great work he produced.

However after a month or so, John found that a number of his work was being duplicated and mailed to almost all of his customers. Worse of all, instead of a proper note commenting on the color pigment properties, these duplicated products were accompanied with rather bad puns and jokes. One repeating joke which irritated him the most was: 'What do you call a country with only pink cars? A pink car-nation.'

Upset, he went to his manager to complain about the problem. After listening to John, his manager said, "Oh boy, looks like I need to talk to the manager of the 'Red Pigment' department again. This is not the first time that it has happened. Those Red-editors in that department love to copy and repost other people's original work as their own."
John then asked, "How are you so sure that it was them who are responsible?"
His manager replied, "Well, you can be certain that it is them as they always love jokes or puns especially in the comment section."

Paul Ryan is running for president. But after this, he'll be Paul Cryan.

His favorite color is Paul Cyan

He is Paul Tryan to become president

This post will make him Paul Diean

He read history about the Paul Mayan

On a plane, he is Paul Flyan

In Russia, he is Paul Spyan

He goes to the Maul Ryan

To go Paul Buyan

His favorite spice is Paul Cayenne

When he stares, heis Paul Eyean

For breakfast, he is Paul Fryan

On stilts, he is Paul Giant

When in trouble, he starts Paul Liean

When he watches memes, he is Lol Ryan.

His favorite is Paul Nyan

For dessert, he has Paul Piean

At this point, Im Paul Sighan

When he has rope, he is Paul Tiean

When curious, he is Paul Whyan

Or Paul Pryan

His new game is Ball Ryan

On the phone, he is Call Ryan

His daughter plays with Doll Ryan

When he trips, he is Fall Ryan

His house is the Ryan Hall

Again on stilts, he is Tall Ryan

His house has a Wall Ryan

Down south, you are Yall Ryan

When he makes bread, it is Paul Rysan

On a horse, he is Paul Ridan

In a fight, he is Brawl Ryan

When he loses he is Crawl Ryan

Or dead

When moving he uses a U-Haul Ryan

In the bathroom, he is Stall Ryan

I had a list with A LOT more. Help in diese comments!

EDIT: If he wins the election, he's Mr. President

My girlfriend was putting color into her hair earlier today. She commented to me that the previous color was determined to stick around. I looked her in the eye and said, "you could say it has its...roots". Eye rolls and sighs followed. I felt rather proud.