The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?

A Lot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/semanticdm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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How do strippers decide on collective bargaining rights?

They take a poll...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/markstache
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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I was wondering why the collective noun is "a murder of crows".

... probable caws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spankleberry
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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All of this criticism and backlash over Eminem's recent verses and punchlines is just the collective groan expected when the greatest rapper of all time starts making epic dad jokes.

FINAL FORM! DAD'S UNITE! OUR TIME HAS COME!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DINC44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
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Pun chat in the tindersphere... Please r/puns, can we have a collective β€œuggghhhhh” that these people even exist?
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2017
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It was a collective effort
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmaxey813
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2014
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Collective nouns movie poster 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/are_you-serious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2014
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The collective noun for glaciers

a Julio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustMakesItAllUp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2015
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citizens of /r/dadjokes, our collective might is needed in a writing prompt in /r/writingprompts!

http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/2v6t3y/wp_humanity_has_developed_a_hypersensitivity_to/

We must write a wrong.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trollsofalabama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
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A collective groan echoed through the house

My Mom (yelled from another room in the house directed at my brother): Are you studying, Bob?

Me (Yelling back): Why would I study bob?

My whole family groaned from various rooms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/airforce7882
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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Collective Groaning at Lunch Today...

I was eating lunch with my two friends and one of their dads today. The dad picks up a french fry from his plate and announces to the table:

"I can turn this fry into a dragon."

The entire table knew something groan-inducing was about to transpire.

(Holds the fry up and shows the table) "See, it's a fry now."

(Starts rubbing the fry against the table top) "And now it's a draggin'."

Faces leapt into palms and collective groaning was had.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/betabot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
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Pets, puns and dictators

Help wanted from r/puns!

I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.

My ideas so far:

Adolf Kitler

Chairman miaow

Kitty Amin

Ho chi(huahua) Min

Robert Pugabi

Colonel Catdafi

Saddam Hussaint Bernard

Benito Pussolini

Fidel Catstro

I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddallthat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BedHeadBread
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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I considered converting my wardrobe to house my board game collection, but was worried about losing clothing space.

It was trivial per suit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PythagorasJones
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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I used to have a job collecting leaves

I was raking it in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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There’s a saying in math that goes, β€œIt’s as easy as solving a collection of symbols that jointly express a quantity.”

I though it was an odd expression

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schutwo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.

Of course she denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Why does an otter collect parts for his spaceship?

So he can go to otter space

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WashingYoda
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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I have a collection of urns to transfer my grandfather's ashes between them.

I figure he wouldn't want to be cooped up in one urn for long. While transferring his ashes, I broke his good urn. I am going to buy him another good urn. I guess its as the saying goes "one good urn deserves another".

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Why did the fool start collecting little insects after learning about covid?

He figured he needed antibodies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snugl-v203
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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So I used to collect those little cardboard discs with pictures on...

One time I took a bunch of them with me to Abu Dhabi and while most of them were fine one behaved very weirdly, splitting and separating like it was in the humid air of the tropics. Very strange. I even wrote a letter about it to a listings magazine, which began:

"What's On, I commend to your attention the curious incident of the POG in the dry clime."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoneKharnivore
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?

A skillet-ton

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?

He polished them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/4K_Jay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Im going to start collecting highlighters

Mark my words!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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I will give you my entire Pixar collection

But I am never gonna give you Up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultimateadem
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Collecting Impressionist art is a pricey hobby.

It requires a lot of monet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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People ask why I have a collection of large scissors.

I tell them it is for the shear fun of it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GUNGUNM4N
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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My son took his jar collection way too far

When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imkindaspiffy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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I don’t understand why the thief who stole my currency collection took all the bills but left all the coins.

It was a cents-less crime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RAClef
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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What is the difference between a person who works in landscaping and someone who collects coffee?

One is a groundskeeper while the other is a grounds keeper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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sit on flour to collect nectar
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πŸ‘€︎ u/homodemen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I can't believe my wife wanted me to get rid of my silt collection!

It's like she doesn't understand the sedimental value!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainAmerilard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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I knew a guy who collected candy canes.

They were all in mint condition

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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I can see the drifter saying that
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DRPGAMER
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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I need a collection of these
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Why should you never ask Rick Astley to borrow his Pixar collection?

Because he’s never gonna give you β€œUp.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingInTheNorth57
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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My private pun collection
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emotional_Plenty
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection...

Except for the movie Up. He's never gonna give you Up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Later in Forrest Gump’s life, he puts on a little weight and opens a business collecting old plumbing materials.

It was called the Plump Gump Sump Pump Dump.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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I try to take my mermaid friends out of Atlantis every now and then to explore the coral reefs, wreckages and collect some shells, but they hesitate to do so...

I think they're a bit shellf conchess

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaverickCS5
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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A collection of the greatest
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayxox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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What did the geologist say when he collected 69 rocks?

Gneiss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_Muffins
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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Bad collection of puns

Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.

  1. What does McDonalds say to the tray when it betrays them? "You traytor!"
  2. Does Spider Man live in an egg? Because i heard he lives in New Yolk.
  3. These puns aren't very eggciting.
  4. lettuce taco bout it?
  5. I will asalt you with puns!
  6. What if your problem involves telling a phone? JUST TELEPHONE ALREADY!
  7. What if Jake stands close to Johnny when talking? He Here's Johnny!
  8. Stop asalting my hard with your judging pursesonality!
  9. I'll play the Yandere Simulater later.
  10. You herd about that show? It's called Spongebob Swearpants.
  11. Why did you diss stew me? (kinda hard to get, but just say it out loud.)
  12. What does someone say sarcastically in the middle of an intense war that was caused by someone? TANKS TO YOU!
  13. What type of plane that loves bounce? Boeing!
  14. How many money did we owe? It said it on the letter right? I don't know, you should've reddit!

I'm sorry for the cringe...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titanium_Steel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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I found out why everyone is collecting TP

It’s because an asteroid might hit us next month. ..... and ... paper always beats rock

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StaggerLee194D
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?"

She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sardonicuis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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My friend showed me his huge comic book collection...

It was quite a Marvel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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My dad was so cool and collected when he explained the tanker rupture to the president...

It was a slick performance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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Collectively speaking, which are the richest animals on the planet?

Chickens... All of them have at least one buck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gdubluu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Took me awhile, but I was finally able to get my hands in some Iranian money for my coin collection!

I'm rial-ly developing a respectable collection, lemme tell ya!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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My stupid cousin thinks he's collected one of every board game ever made.

That idiot doesn't have a Clue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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i love collecting political trading cards

the one of the president of the united states is definitely my trump card

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LemmeBuildThat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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You know, if you have seen one collection of retail outlets under one roof, you have seen a mall.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heavyduty1930
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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I'm looking to sell my toothpaste collection.

Don't worry, they're all in mint condition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maurost
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Did you hear about the pirate whose bird collection was too big?

Everyone kept telling him he needed to "pare it down"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timtucker_com
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Prince Charles was mistaken for a collection of orca paintings.

He is the prints of whales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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I’m never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.

They just take the money and run.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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Recently I’ve been collecting cans in the park and crushing them down to save space.

My wife insists I need to find a hobby that’s not soda pressing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoNotCool
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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I’m close to completing my collection of captioned photos showing lions sleeping.....

A meme away. A meme away.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrypticPragmatist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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I collect clocks. I currently have 37.

I'm pretty good at time-keeping

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatDamnCat_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Which is one book that you should never flaunt in your book collection?

How to get away with murder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G0D_of_Virginity
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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I was going to make a joke about a large collection of wild pigs...

But that'd just be a huge boar-fest.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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I think I might sell my hoover

It’s just collecting dust

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
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Did you hear about the police detective with the secret clamp collection?

He had a vice vise vice.

It helped him put the squeeze on suspects.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProjectMeat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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My friend keeps his rare coin collection where it could easily be stolen.

I mean, he has no common cents.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RAconsensualPE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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Handy Woman gets a job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch," he said, "how much will you charge me?"

The blonde, after looking about, responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it. Do you think she's dumb?"

"No", replied the wife. "I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all those 'dumb blonde' jokes."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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The fisherman used all funds from fish sales to buy collections of audio recordings issued as a single item on CD...

He sold his sole for rock'n'roll.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen. I felt bad so I built them a small house.

Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bovinejabronie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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A friend of mine was telling me about her first day working at a zoo...

When she arrived at the zoo she went to see her manager and asked what she should do, the manager told her to first go feed the sharks, so she went off to feed them. Whilst she was shovelling the food into the pool a shark jumped out of the water and tried to bite her, as a reflex she hit the shark with the spade and the shark died. Worried about losing her job this soon the woman started brainstorming what to do, eventually she decided to feed the dead shark to the lions thereby removing all evidence and so that is what she did. Shaken but glad she had avoided detection the women went back to see her manager and asked if there was anything else that needed doing, she was told to go and clean out the monkey cage.. So off the woman went with a wheelbarrow and shovel to clean out the cage, as she was shovelling the poop into the barrow a monkey jumped down from the tree towards her! As a reflex reaction the women smashed the monkey with the spade and it lay dead. Thankfully she knew just what to do and so she threw the monkey into the lion cage. Shaken and ready to go home by now, the women went to see if there were any final jobs that needed doing: she was tasked with collecting the honey from the bees. So she got changed into her protective gear however she forgot to tuck in the back of her shirt so when it came to doing the bees, one particularly large bee came and stung her right on the behind! The woman screamed and started whacking the bees until many lay dead. By now she didn’t even have to think.. she collected the dead bees and threw them in the lion cage before going home for a quiet evening.

The next day there was a new lion in the lion cage. The new lion said to the other lions β€œso what’s the food like here??” The other lions responded...

β€œActually it’s quite good. Yesterday we had FISH, CHIMPS and MUSHY BEES!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SidB_22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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My beekeeping brother stumbled upon my collection of honeybee legs, screaming "What the hell is this?"

I responded, "It's none of your bee's knees."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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Did you hear about the man who collected watches?

He had a lot of time on his hands

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Terri_Fried
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Is β€œbuttcheeks” one word?

Or should I spread them apart

πŸ‘︎ 587
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewwap
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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To start a record collection...
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midusyouch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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I collected a lot of data trying to disprove confirmation bias.

The results were exactly what I expected.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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I collect rocks, and recently I found a rock that was 1760 yards long

What a milestone!

πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bargain-Ninja
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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I've decided to sell my roomba,

It was just collecting dust anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LittlePickleLoL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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The animated flick about honey collecting insects from 2007 wasn't a blockbuster...

... because it was a Bee movie.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kahooki
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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What happened to the overconfident lion tamer?

He was consumed by his own pride

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Why does Melkor have a larger collection of black clothing than Sauron?

because he's Morgoth

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sororita
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission

When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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Did you hear about the collection of related network web resources identified with a common domain name that has nothing but quotes and their authors?

It's a web-cite.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Ran into Rick Astley. He gave me his entire Pixar collection, except one of them.

He started dancing and said, "Never gonna give you 'Up'."

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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I miss my old job collecting leaves.

I was raking it in.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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I knew a guy who collected candy canes...

They were all in mint condition

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WispyNarwhal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except for one.

He’s never gonna give you Up.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmarsee530
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.

She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection.

She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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I am convinced that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.

She keeps denying it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 396
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge asksΒ her, "First offender?” She says, β€œNo, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmac33111133
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection...

The judge asks, β€œFirst offender?” The wife replies, β€œNo, first a Gibson, then a Fender.”

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Typical_Blueberry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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I'm very suspicious that someone in my family has been secretly adding glue to my weapons collection...

Everyone denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns...

πŸ‘︎ 258
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!
πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Pixar collection

but he’s never gonna give you Up.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/corn_n_potatoes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.

She says it's not true, but I'm sticking to my guns!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmarsee530
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks her, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
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A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, β€˜First offender?

’ She says, β€˜No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!’

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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