I just saw a homeless man get arrested for cloaking himself in a blanket the cops falsely accused him of stealing...

It was a bum wrap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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I've invented a machine that helps people wear cloaks

I call it a cloaking device.

My wife groaned, that's good enough for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/griffglen
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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My family branded me as a failure, then I invented an invisibility cloak.

If only they could see me now...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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Harry potter had always been hesitant about telling lies when under the invisibility cloak

people always said that they could see right through him!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepokokputih
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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I absolutely support any scientific effort to create an invisibility cloak.

I just want to make myself clear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What do you do when you accidentally tear Lord Elrond’s woven cloak?

Hugo Weaving

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucioboops3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Someone tried to scam me by selling invisibility cloaks

I saw right through it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ipsum629
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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In one lost episode, Superman almost dies because he was wearing the wrong sized cloak.

He had a narrow S cape.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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Scientists claim to have perfected a "Harry Potter" style invisibility cloak.

But the results have yet to be seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
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This guy came up me to trying to sell me invisibility cloaks...

I saw right through that scam...

It’s not a product I could see myself wearing...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KappaBowls
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
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I cannot emphasize enough how much I support scientists working towards creating an invisibility cloak.

I just want to make myself clear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2018
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I saw a guy this morning wearing a black cloak and scraping the frost off his windscreen with a Scythe...

I was going to offer a hand but my wife told me it's not a good idea to de-ice with death

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πŸ‘€︎ u/26326312
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
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What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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The real slim shady

Me and my son were going to a store and he pointed something out. A person in a cloak. He said that they looked shady. I asked if they were fat he said no so then I replied so they’re the real slim shady

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-dad-guy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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The wizarding world is real!

Come on dad, you can take the Cloak of Invisibility off now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x3astu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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[Long] a brush with death

Credit to u/echonight . This is a cross post from r/askreddit

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won't be interrupted.

About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he's unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He ends up in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn't pick up because his phone is off.

The dentist wakes to a knock on the door. Suspecting a solicitor, he ignores it, but the knocking continues. Eventually, he resolves to get up and yell at the person at the door. When he does, he reveals--- the grim reaper. He is just as he appears in movies; a full skeleton underneath a tattered cloak.

The grim reaper swears. "Oh no! This always happens with identical twins".

"What do you mean?" asks the dentist.

"Well... if you must know, your brother was in a critical car accident, and I've come to take him to the underworld. I'm afraid his time on Earth has ended. I'll take my leave now."

The dentist is noticeably upset. He says "Wait! Isn't there some way I can challenge you for my brother's life? After all, YOU made the mistake. Certainly there must be a way I can bargain for his life."

The grim reaper asks "What do you have in mind?"

The dentist thinks. "How about a challenge? If I beat you, you let my brother go free."

The grim reaper laughs. "I will beat you in any challenge. What challenge do you propose?"

The dentist smiles. "I propose we see who has the cleanest teeth. 5 minute of brushing each, then we decide."

"Very well" says the grim reaper, who makes his way to the bathroom.

Once there, he pulls back his tattered cloak to reveal his skull. It's glistening. He takes a toothbrush from the bathroom, loads it with toothpaste, and brushes. After 5 minutes, the shiniest teeth anyone has ever seen glisten and make the room bright. The grim reaper gr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spartan-44
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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Dad told this joke to my brother and I, our parents have been divorced 10 years. Bro didn't appreciate it

'Here right, I was walking home from the pub last weekend and you know what I'm like when I'm drunk, singing to myself and stumbling all over the place haha. So I walked up the back road, yano the one with trees and bushes on either side of the road and I was singing away, loving life.

Then all of a sudden this figure dressed in black appeared, I couldn't really make out what it was. I got a bit closer and it ran at me, now you know I'm a hard man but it scared the life out of me! This weird looking man looked up from beneath a dark cloak thing and said 'I AM THE PRINCE OF DARKNESS' so dad goes 'awk for fuck sake, why didn't you say. I'm Marty, I married your sister.''

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Porridgeandpeas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2015
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Juan the Amazing

A Mexican magician announces his next magic trick. He covers himself with a large cloak and counts aloud "Uno.... Dos...." then he disappeared without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amg832
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2014
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I absolutely support any scientist who is trying to create a complete invisibility cloak.

I just want to make myself clear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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