The Melancholy Thistle
The Melancholy Thistle Cirsium heterophyllum, Cirsium originating from the Greek word ‘kirsos’, meaning swollen vein which refers to thistles being used as a cure for varicose veins, and heterophylum meaning ‘different leaf’, is a fairly tall thistle with a deeply furrowed, wooly stem, large flower heads and soft, downy leaves with an almost felt-like underneath.
It prefers damp, unimproved (unimproved meaning untouched by fertilisers) soils such as hay-meadows, the banks of streams and woodland edges. It was once widespread across the north of England but is now classed as Near Threatened, in the Bowland area it has managed to hang on at several sites which have been managed as wildflower meadows such as the churchyard at Dalehead chapel, meadows in upper Roeburndale which flows north from the Bowland fells and at Bell Sykes meadows near Slaidburn.
The flowers of the Melancholy thistle usually grow singly on one stem, are around 4cm wide and are of a vibrant purple colour. They grow from 50cm to 1 metre tall so can be the tallest flowers in a wildflower meadow, towering over other flowers such as the yellow Hayrattle, Orchids or the round yellow flowers of the Globeflower, they are called the melancholy thistle because they droop when they are first blooming before standing straight up.
As with other wildflowers it’s decline is largely due to loss of habitat and over fertilisation of farmland but it also does itself no favours in terms of reproduction. The colonies of the thistle in Bowland have found to be mostly clonal, as it produces very little viable seeds and few of these are wind born as with other thistle species so it doesn’t spread to new sites very readily. Recent programmes to establish new colonies of the Melancholy thistle have relied upon collection of seeds by hand and the taking of plugs, young plants, which are then propagated in a greenhouse and then planted at new sites, this has been done in a way which has meant that plants fro
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
The doctor says it terminal.
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
And boy are my arms legs.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
The Melancholy Thistle Cirsium heterophyllum, Cirsium originating from the Greek word ‘kirsos’, meaning swollen vein which refers to thistles being used as a cure for varicose veins, and heterophylum meaning ‘different leaf’, is a fairly tall thistle with a deeply furrowed, wooly stem, large flower heads and soft, downy leaves with an almost felt-like underneath.
It prefers damp, unimproved (unimproved meaning untouched by fertilisers) soils such as hay-meadows, the banks of streams and woodland edges. It was once widespread across the north of England but is now classed as Near Threatened, in the Bowland area it has managed to hang on at several sites which have been managed as wildflower meadows such as the churchyard at Dalehead chapel, meadows in upper Roeburndale which flows north from the Bowland fells and at Bell Sykes meadows near Slaidburn.
The flowers of the Melancholy thistle usually grow singly on one stem, are around 4cm wide and are of a vibrant purple colour. They grow from 50cm to 1 metre tall so can be the tallest flowers in a wildflower meadow, towering over other flowers such as the yellow Hayrattle, Orchids or the round yellow flowers of the Globeflower, they are called the melancholy thistle because they droop when they are first blooming before standing straight up.
As with other wildflowers it’s decline is largely due to loss of habitat and over fertilisation of farmland but it also does itself no favours in terms of reproduction. The colonies of the thistle in Bowland have found to be mostly clonal, as it produces very little viable seeds and few of these are wind born as with other thistle species so it doesn’t spread to new sites very readily. Recent programmes to establish new colonies of the Melancholy thistle have relied upon collection of seeds by hand and the taking of plugs, young plants, which are then propagated in a greenhouse and then planted at new sites, this has been done in a way which has meant that plants from different patches of c
... keep reading on reddit ➡The Melancholy Thistle Cirsium heterophyllum, Cirsium originating from the Greek word ‘kirsos’, meaning swollen vein which refers to thistles being used as a cure for varicose veins, and heterophylum meaning ‘different leaf’, is a fairly tall thistle with a deeply furrowed, wooly stem, large flower heads and soft, downy leaves with an almost felt-like underneath.
It prefers damp, unimproved (unimproved meaning untouched by fertilisers) soils such as hay-meadows, the banks of streams and woodland edges. It was once widespread across the north of England but is now classed as Near Threatened, in the Bowland area it has managed to hang on at several sites which have been managed as wildflower meadows such as the churchyard at Dalehead chapel, meadows in upper Roeburndale which flows north from the Bowland fells and at Bell Sykes meadows near Slaidburn.
The flowers of the Melancholy thistle usually grow singly on one stem, are around 4cm wide and are of a vibrant purple colour. They grow from 50cm to 1 metre tall so can be the tallest flowers in a wildflower meadow, towering over other flowers such as the yellow Hayrattle, Orchids or the round yellow flowers of the Globeflower, they are called the melancholy thistle because they droop when they are first blooming before standing straight up.
As with other wildflowers it’s decline is largely due to loss of habitat and over fertilisation of farmland but it also does itself no favours in terms of reproduction. The colonies of the thistle in Bowland have found to be mostly clonal, as it produces very little viable seeds and few of these are wind born as with other thistle species so it doesn’t spread to new sites very readily. Recent programmes to establish new colonies of the Melancholy thistle have relied upon collection of seeds by hand and the taking of plugs, young plants, which are then propagated in a greenhouse and then planted at new sites, this has been done in a way which has meant that plants from different patches of c
... keep reading on reddit ➡